


Healing What's Broken

by Shatterstxr



Category: Marvel (Comics), X-Force (Comics), X-Men (Comicverse)
Genre: Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Angst, BDSM, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, First Time, Funny, Handcuffs, Kink, M/M, Not rape but close I guess?, Pining, Sexy Times, Slight non con themes, This Is Why We Can't Have Nice Things, Welcome to Chili's, chili's au, i'm so bad at tags, shatterstar's first time, the kinky stuff happens later
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-04
Updated: 2019-10-12
Packaged: 2020-10-09 22:54:31
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 12
Words: 21,566
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20517785
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shatterstxr/pseuds/Shatterstxr
Summary: Shatterstar and Rictor have been living together since X Force disbanded. When the dynamics of their relationship are misinterpreted, Shatterstar is left adrift and led into the open arms of none other than one of his former rivals.





	1. Welcome to Chili's

**Author's Note:**

> Hi! I thought this would be a fun change of pace to write from Star's pov and also experiment with the only other pairing I've ever really considered for him outside of Akihiro (Daken) and Rictor!
> 
> I think it's important to say, after receiving some criticism, that this is not meant to, at least initially, be a good story. As in a romantic love story. It's supposed to start out shitty for Star. I don't want to spoil things, but yeah. 
> 
> I also want to note that I ship all 3 main characters together in some way. While this is not expressed in this fic, that's how I feel irl. This fic is not an expression on how I actually feel about Adam x.

“You have the answers. You are your own teacher.” The mantra of the podcast played through the small speakers on the bedside table. Shatterstar groaned and went to turn off the unwanted mantras. He was not sure what Rictor found attractive about these annoying, music-less, stations. He had claimed it was to help him sleep, but Shatterstar did not believe him. He sat up and yawned. It was a sunny morning in the small town that Rictor was staying in. Shatterstar had been staying there, sharing a room with him, because he had nowhere else to be since X-Force had disbanded. He had no citizenship to the USA, or any other country for that matter, and he had no desire to tie himself down. Rictor had fought with him on this, but Shatterstar had, in the end, come out on top, insisting that it was an unnecessary thing, and if it was so necessary, he would find a way.

Rictor yawned in the bed beside him. Shatterstar sighed. He had to talk to Rictor sometime that day about something that had been lingering in his mind for a few weeks now. It had been on his mind ever since they had both left X-Force. He had watched some television, and he had listened to some music, all of Earth, and it had all left him feeling the same way about his new feelings. He was in love. Or some approximation of what the humans around him considered love. That desire, that feeling, that want to be with something, someone, bigger than oneself. It was overwhelming to him. It concerned him a little bit, but he was sure Rictor would return the feeling. After all, had not they fought together, laughed together, and stayed together through and after X-Force?

Love, when he had first come across the concept, had seemed alien, foreign to him. As foreign as he was on this planet. But he had come to realize, through just sheer observation, that he needed to express it. These feelings had to be natural right? But what if they were not? He had never felt them before on Mojo. He had only lived for the fight, and that was all. But this was different, he had someone to fight for. He had Rictor.

Now, if only Rictor would wake up, that would be all he required. He sat patiently until about nine am, the normal time the two of them ate breakfast together before Rictor disappeared to who knows where, he said his job, but Shatterstar was skeptical about that. At that point, he gently ruffled Rictor’s hair. “It’s the morning hours, Julio.”

Julio Richter yawned, showing a mouth full of nice teeth. His dark hair was curly and there was stubble on his tan face. He was gorgeous, despite his bedraggled appearance, and Shatterstar loved it. He wanted to tell Rictor right then and there his declaration of affection, but thought it best to wait for breakfast.

Rictor made the best breakfasts. He made eggs and bacon along with steaming cups of coffee, of which Shatterstar drank too many for any normal person to handle. He had become quite a, as they called it, coffee addict during his time on Earth.

“Rictor.” He said, gently. “I have to tell you something.” He dipped some bacon in his coffee, a morning ritual no one had ever been able to break him of.

“Fire away, ‘Star, but I have to go in an hour, so don’t be too slow. I need a shower.” Rictor stretched, exposing skin in the morning light of the kitchen.

“I think… well, I know. I love you, Rictor.” He blurted it out, nervously, before he could stop himself or fake out.

“I…. uh… love you too, man… Unless, that _isn’t _what you meant?” Julio replied awkwardly, seeing Star’s devastated expression at his lack of enthusiasm. “Oh, God. ‘Star.” He sounded exasperated, something Shatterstar definitely had not planned for and did not want.

“Julio, I feel about you like no one before. You make my heart beat in my chest and I want to be near you all the time! I have never known anyone like you, and I love that!” Shatterstar let more words fly, unable to stop them. He had to let Rictor know. The look on Rictor’s face was not a good one, though. That was not a good sign.

“What you’re feeling right now, ‘Star? This isn’t love. It’s you not knowing what humans are. We’re novelties to you. I know you and I have been close these past few weeks, but did you think it was gonna last? You have to leave eventually. You can’t just be my new housemate. I know you think you’re in love because I’ve been kind to you and treated you well, but I don’t love you, not like that. Not right now.” He threw his hands up in the air as he watched Shatterstar’s face fall.

“I’m so sorry, Ric.” Shatterstar was devastated. This was not at all how he had expected his confession of love to Rictor to go at all. He wanted there to be some reciprocation, some affection. Something to reassure him he was not alone in the world. And instead? He was getting his affection thrown back in his face. It was not fair. But he could not stop it. He did not want to fight it. That would only upset Rictor, and Shatterstar loved him too much for that.

“You know what? You need to leave. I’m sorry, but this… This is proof I let us go beyond professionality. The sharing a place in the first place was a mistake, and I should have known that letting you share a bed was a path to disaster. Maybe… Maybe come back when you’ve learned a little more. Become a little bit wiser. You need to grow, Shatterstar. But you can’t. Not when you’re tied down with me.”

“You… You’re throwing me out?” Shatterstar felt like his heart was breaking in half.

“I… I guess I am.” He turned his back on him. “I know this is a lot, but it’s been a time in coming. I want you out by this weekend.” It was Wednesday. Rictor left the house without his shower.

Shatterstar sat there in the kitchen with the remnants of his and Rictor’s breakfast, resisting the urge to break down, throw things, and or cry. That was all he wanted to do. After all, all he had wanted was to confess his love, and it had been thrown in his face, and now he was being thrown out with no place to go.

He did none of those things, however. What he did do was pack all of his things into his two backpacks and head out. He left a note and some of the cash he had on Rictor’s table, thanking him for everything, and then he left. Shatterstar was not quite sure where to go, but he was sure he would find answers somehow. But before that, he wanted to get some comfort food, and he knew a good place for it, once it was open, and that was Chili’s.

Julio had hated Chili’s. He had insisted it was fake food, but Shatterstar loved it; it was better than any of the food on Mojo he had eaten. The chips and salsa were great, as was the actual chili, although nothing was as good as what Rictor made at home. Nevertheless, the cookie in a pan and the chili were just what might soothe Shatterstar’s hurting soul. After that, he was sure he could find a former teammate to hide out with. Until he got his feet back under him.

He walked into the Chili’s about noon and was hit by a blast from the past in a most bizarre way. This was a new twisting turn to the day, and he was not ready for it when it happened.

“Hi, welcome to Chili’s.” A slightly high pitched and gravelly voice attached to a tall, muscled body behind the little Chili’s podium floated across the room. It was a dead inside voice, but it was one he would know anywhere. It also raised more questions than answers.

“Adam. Why are you working at Chili’s and not, you know… beating people up?” Shatterstar stood there, mouth open. One of the most dangerous mutants that X-Force had faced was standing in front of him, in a Chili’s uniform, offering him a menu. Adam Neramani, if you were friends, which he was sometimes, Adam X or Adam Xtreme if you were not. Either way, he was not sure why the blond, half Shi’ar, half mutant man was working in Chili’s.

“Can you keep that down, buddy? I’m not sure why you’re stirring up trouble, given that this is literally the one time I work a day shift, and for good reason apparently.” He looked over Shatterstar’s head to see a line forming. “Let me get you seated.” He walked into the restaurant, and Shatterstar still followed. Yep, definitely Neramani. He talked like him, walked like him, and now he was irritably being seated by him.

“What are you-“

“I quit the superhero mutant business. It got a bit dicey on my end. But I have an apartment, and I did not think that anything would be more unpleasant than dealing with the heroism antics. I was wrong. Service is the worst. Do you still have those double-bladed swords? If so, just stab me, stab me through the chest.” He mimed himself falling over.

“I think you have customers, Adam.” Shatterstar smiled, despite his foul mood.

“I’ll be back to talk to you later. Maybe. If I have time.” He winked. It fell flat. Shatterstar was not in a playful mood. He rarely ever was, but especially not now. “If not, here’s my number. Us alien warriors got to stick together, right?” He walked away, handing him a paper and leaving Shatterstar to be served.


	2. Alone Together

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shatterstar is left alone, but he has a phone number to call. The question is, would he rather be alone with himself or would he rather be alone together with the man Adam Neramani?

Shatterstar sat in his motel room wondering what to do. He rolled the strip of paper Adam had given him in his fingers, debating whether to call the blonde mutant-alien hybrid. It could be a good time. They could catch up, talk about the ‘good old days’ when they had fought together. But did he really want company? He was still sore from Rictor’s rejection.

Rictor had tried to call him that night. He had left him a voicemail that Shatterstar had deleted. He did not want to hear from him right now. Maybe sometime after he felt better he would call him. He sighed and laid back on the bed. Maybe Adam’s company would do him some good. After all, what harm would it do?

He dialed the number on his phone and held the phone up to his ear. It rang twice, and then Adam picked up. “Y’llo?” His voice sounded a little less dead inside and more like the Adam Xtreme that Shatterstar remembered.

“Hey, uh, it’s Shatterstar. You gave me your number?” He twisted a strand of hair nervously between his fingers.

“Ah! Shatterstar! How’s it going?” Shatterstar could just imagine his cocky grin over the phone. Adam’s smile was infectious and insouciant. “It’s been awhile, hasn’t it?”

“It really has been. I’m not doing so great, if I’m being frank.” Shatterstar confessed, not sure if he should say more.

“I’m sorry to hear that. I can help you with that, you know.” Adam’s voice grew softer. “You want me to come to you, or the other way around?” He did not even ask if Shatterstar wanted help. Shatterstar had to admire the audacity.

“Come over here. I’m pretty comfortable here. I’m in that motel a couple blocks away from the Walmart by the Chili’s.” He sighed. There was an eerie sense of foreboding about this, but he could not quite put his finger on it.

“Got it. Be there in a flash.” The line went dead.

Shatterstar rolled onto his side and curled into a ball. The room was dead and quiet. He had not been alone like this for so long in a while. Ever since he had come to Earth, Rictor had almost always been a part of his life. For better or worse, the two were linked. And now, that bond was severed by Rictor’s own hand. It was over for the two of them, and it hurt so much that it made Shatterstar’s chest ache.

He would not cry. He refused to. Tears were for weaker beings than himself. He would maintain his composure; he had to. But he missed Rictor already so much that it made him want to scream and punch things. He was seriously considering those options when there was a knock on his door.

He answered it and saw Adam standing there wearing a plain black t-shirt and skinny jeans that hugged his muscular legs. The other man was about an inch shorter than him but nonetheless cut an impressive figure in the door. He let him in.

“Nasty room. Motels really have gone down in class, haven’t they?” He sighed and crossed his arms. “It smells like something died in here.”

“I want to agree with you, but for now, this is my home.” Shatterstar responded despondently, sitting back down on the bed, massaging his temples.

“Why’s that? Did something happen? I heard X-Force disbanded, but didn’t you have some buddy you were staying with?” Adam sat by him on the bed and made as if to pat him on the back, then hastily changed his mind.

“I guess you could say that. Rictor kicked me out today.” Shatterstar looked at Adam. “We had a disagreement about an important matter and he told me that it would be best if I left. So I did.”

“Julio? That guy? Wow. Wouldn’t have expected that out of him. He always seemed like such a nice guy. Frankly, I thought he had a bit of a thing for-“ Adam did not get to finish his sentence because Shatterstar grabbed him and slammed him up against the wall in a fit of rage and grief.

“Don’t finish that sentence. Don’t you _dare_ finish that sentence.” He gritted his teeth, his eyes flashing with unshed tears. Adam’s eyes widened but he said nothing until Shatterstar put him down again.

“I never thought you a bigot, Shatterstar. Don’t be so offended at the idea of shacking up with Ric- I mean another man.” He rolled his eyes, seemingly unruffled by the assault.

“I’m not. That’s the problem, Neramani. I fell in love. With a guy.” He was still reluctant to give out all of the details.

“And Rictor kicked you out for that? What the hell?” Adam seemed like he was getting a bit riled up, and Shatterstar realized he should probably get the Shi’ar hybrid to calm down.

“No, well, sort of. I fell in love with Rictor. Or at least, I think I did. Rictor says it was not love. That it was just me latching onto him because of his kindness. But I loved him, I really did. He made my heart full.” Shatterstar let out a groan then flopped onto the bed. “Rictor did not take this well and told me to leave, saying that I was unprofessional and that I should not have said it.”

“That’s a lot, Shatterstar. I’m sorry.” Adam sat down next to him again. “Is there anything I can do to maybe help you out?”

“Not really, unless you can find a way for me to get a job and that kind of thing. I can’t just stay in a motel. I need a place of my own and a job. I was lazy when I was living with Rictor. I assumed I would not need to get a place of my own. I was wrong. But to own, I need to have a job.” He looked at the other man. “Do you have any advice?”

“Do you know how to cook? Chili’s is always hiring.” He quipped. “Nah, I’m kidding. I would not put you through the hell that is working at a Chili’s. It’s terrible.” He looked Shatterstar up and down. “I bet you could be a bouncer. You know how to disarm and disable people without totally killing them?”

“Yes, I think. I know how to dial back my approach, as it were.” Shatterstar said hesitantly. He had never been asked to take a more laid back approach, but he was sure he could make it work if he had to.

“Fantastic. There’s a bar next to Chili’s. They’re looking for a bouncer. I’ll put in a good word for you there. They’re pretty mutant-otherworldly friendly there, so I’ll just tell them you’re a retired X-Men looking for work, okay? Is that good?”

“I guess. I can make that work. But how will I get there? It’s going to become winter soon. I do not fancy the walk during the wintertime. It’s cold in this area.” He shivered a little. The hotel’s heating was almost certainly faulty. He could feel it in his bones.

“Okay, so hear me out. I live in a decently large apartment. I would have no issue with you staying with me as long as you can deal with my weird hours and the fact that I have a bad taste in literally everything, according to my last two girlfriends and boyfriends. You could split rent with me, and we could carpool to work. I work the nightshift at Chili’s and then I stay afterhours to clean up the place. When I get off work, I could come over to you and then just hang out at the bar. I already hang out there enough anyhow.” 

Shatterstar perked up a little bit. What Xtreme had recommended solved all of his issues in one fell swoop. There was only one more problem. “Thank you so much. I… I don’t know why you’re being so nice to me, and frankly I don’t want to know. But I have one more query. How do I deal with the fact that I lack an actual form of ID outside of my X-Force card which, by the way, is null and void.”

That did not seem to phase him at all. “Buddy, you really have not been on Earth long enough. If you know enough people? Nobody cares, like, at all. I can make you a bank account, and I can help you handle your paperwork. Fake IDs aren’t really my thing, but even I have one. I’m not an Earth native, but now I work at Chili’s! There are plenty of people who owe their lives to mutants who can help us.” He chuckled. “But enough about business. Is it a deal?” He held out a hand.

Shatterstar nodded mutely, not even thinking about the ramifications of this. He was desperate to get out of his slump. Maybe working and living with someone new would help him. It had to. He shook his hand firmly. “So, now what? Do we sign a contract?” He joked lamely, recalling that kind of thing from movies.

“Nah. I’ll pick you up from here tomorrow. Look for a Honda Civic. Little car black with an H on the back. Big dent in the side from running it into another car when I was drunk.” He winked. “You going to be okay alone tonight?”

Shatterstar wanted to say yes. He did not want to say no. That would be weak, something that someone pathetic and lonely would say. But after all, he was lonely and pathetic, was he not? He was grieving his loss of his best friend. “I’ll do my best.” He said, compromising with his warring sides in his mind.

“I’ll stick around, if you want.” He offered, comfortingly.

“You know… That might be nice.” Shatterstar conceded to the other man. “Do you have work tomorrow?”

“Nah. I have the next two days off.” He smiled at him.

Shatterstar stripped down to just a t-shirt and boxers while Adam curled up in a ball on one side of the queen bed. He watched as the man fell asleep before Shatterstar even laid down and stifled a laugh. Rictor had never been able to sleep soundly, he was the _worst_ sleeper.

He laid down next to Adam and soon fell asleep. He only woke up once in the night, and that was because he felt something touch him, and that turned out to be Neramani’s arms around his bicep. He did not resist his touch. It felt nice. For certain values of nice.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This has been fun to write!!! Poor Shatterstar is so emotionally repressed though...


	3. Cuddle Buddies

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shatterstar and Adam come to an arrangement about just what their relationship really is.

The next morning, Shatterstar woke up to see Adam still asleep, drooling on the pillows, his eyes shut tightly, the dark marks around his eyes stark on his skin. His arms were still wrapped lazily around Shatterstar’s arm, something that Shatterstar carefully remedied so that the other man would not wake up. He pulled on a pair of sweatpants and walked downstairs to avail himself of the coffee machine in the lobby. Rictor had gotten him into drinking coffee, and now he was hooked.

When he walked back upstairs, Adam was awake and in the process of stripping nude in the middle of the living room and changing into a new pair of clothes that Shatterstar had not noticed he had brought. He _had_ been distracted last night, after all.

For all of his pining for Rictor, he had to admit that Adam was not bad looking. The Shi’ar hybrid was almost as tall as him and was nearly pure muscle, even after retiring. His entire demeanor was full of edgy confidence and a cocky attitude that drew people to him and also got him into fights, generally fights he could win. His hair was long and blond, currently being tied back into a bun, along with a couple braids that were currently hanging loose and looked rather ridiculous, but Shatterstar had nowhere to talk. He too had worn some tragic hairstyles during his time as an X-Force member.

“Sleep well, roommate?” Neramani wiggled his eyebrows and accepted one of the two cups of coffee Shatterstar had brought up with him.

“Fine enough. Did you know you cling when you sleep? Because I didn’t.” Shatterstar followed his lead and started to change, not showing any embarrassment. He had stripped in front of his teammates plenty of times, and this man was as good as a housemate now. Adam let out a low whistle and Shatterstar looked up. “Yes?”

“Nothing. You’re just… wow. I always knew you were something, but now I know you’re more than a pair of swords with legs.” He winked at him, and this time it did not fall so flat.

Shatterstar was confused at this comment, but did not let on. He was fairly sure it was supposed to be a sort of compliment, but he was not sure at this point. He pulled on a pair of jeans and a sweater that Rictor had bought him when he had moved into the apartment with him. It still smelled like Ric. It hurt. It really did.

Adam must have seen the pain on his face. “You okay there, bud? Having some bad memories, eh?” He patted his back. “What’s done is done. I say _FUCK_ Rictor. But not really. Although, I bet you wish, right?” He chuckled. “Kidding, kidding.”

Shatterstar gazed up at him in mild bewilderment. How was he so nonchalant about something that was hurting him so much, so calm about the pain that was raging in his heart? He wanted to say something harsh, but he held his tongue. Neramani was being kind to him, kinder than he had ever seen the man ever being. There had to be a catch, and Shatterstar was bracing himself for it.

A month later, Shatterstar had yet to see the catch. He had comfortably settled into sleeping on Adam’s couch in the studio apartment. In the mornings, they would work out, talk, and chat and eat lunch and sometimes even play video games on Neramani’s television. Shatterstar was no good at that kind of recreation, but he was learning, much to the other man’s delight. Neramani had also gotten him into drinking alcohol, a habit that Rictor had done his best to avoid around Shatterstar, and probably for good reason. It took a lot of alcohol to get Shatterstar anywhere near what was considered intoxicated, but once he was, according to Adam, it was hilarious to watch.

His job was not bad either. He was making a satisfactory amount of money, enough to chip in for groceries and rent, and he got to occasionally physically throw people out of a bar. He got to see Adam whenever he worked, and that was nice too. He was growing to appreciate the warrior a lot as both a friend and a roommate. He was a little bit less of a neat freak than Rictor, and he appreciated Shatterstar’s penchant for early morning workouts. The two had more in common than he and Rictor as well.

Nonetheless, Shatterstar still had his moments where all he wanted was for Rictor to make him coffee and bacon in the morning. That was something he desperately missed. The feeling of Rictor just being, well, present. He had not run into him since their separation, and for that he was strangely grateful. He did not know what he would do if he ran into his ex-best friend.

Adam had had some recommendations, but none of them were anywhere near viable or logical, and most involved egging his house. “You’re so immature, Xtreme.” Shatterstar had joked. “He lives in an apartment; you can’t egg an entire apartment complex.”

“I’m half Shi’ar. We’re an avian people. How do _you_ know I can’t fly.” He had crossed his muscled arms in front of him and grinned his stunning white smile. “I could fly to his stupid fourth story apartment and egg the shit out of it.”

“I feel like you would have used that skill one of the times we fought. I’m just saying.” Shatterstar retorted. And that had been the end of that.

Nonetheless, he was enjoying himself more then than he had in a while. Adam’s company was good. He was a nice guy, once you got past his arrogance and seeming lack of tact. Shatterstar clicked with him well. Maybe it was the shared past as aliens on Earth. Maybe it was their shared lack of understanding of the people’s odd customs around them.

Then, the penny dropped. They were eating dinner one night on a night off, and Adam stopped Shatterstar from turning on the television. “I don’t think I can watch many more _Star Wars_ marathons, ‘Star. Anyhow, we need to talk.”

Shatterstar nodded anxiously. This was it. Adam was going to throw him out. Or worse, tell him their friendship had been a farce and that he had just felt bad for him. That would hurt even worse. He had grown close to him. Very close. Sometimes he wondered if he felt the same way for him as he did for Rictor, which brought up some uncomfortable questions he was not quite ready to deal with. Most of them had to do with his concept of attachment.

“As you know, we have been living together for a month. You’ve been sleeping on my couch, and you’ve helped me pay rent and groceries. I got you a job, and you’re great at it! But I felt like there was something off about our relationship. And then it dawned on me while I was in the shower! You’re sleeping on my fucking couch! That’s not right. So I thought, should we go mattress shopping, should you sleep on the floor, just anything, anything that isn’t my couch!”

“Please, I’m begging you, get to the point, Adam.” Shatterstar laughed a little bit at the faux-wounded look on the other man’s face.

“But then, it came to me, while I was showering. I really like you, Shatterstar, and I was wondering, maybe, if you’d want to sleep with me. If you get my gist. Maybe not sexually, at least not at first, but like a cuddle buddies sort of thing. Did you know that people do that?” He looked mildly flustered for the first time that Shatterstar had ever seen him not look cocky. It was a cute look on him. His eyebrows were all scrunched up, and his head was tilted to the side, his lips pursed in nervous concentration.

Shatterstar was torn hard. The idea of sleeping with someone again was nice. The feeling of body heat next to him was pure bliss, as someone who had been deprived that for most of their life. He also _really_ wanted to get over Rictor. Maybe this is how he could. He was not big on cuddling. When he and Rictor had shared a bed, it had been the barest of touches, if any. Cuddling made him feel weird and vulnerable, yet for some reason, doing it with the other warrior, the thought was, somehow, comforting?

“Why?” He blurted out, then immediately, mentally groaned. _Why’d I respond like that?! _

“Well, Shatterstar, I like you. I like you a lot. And I think that maybe, maybe you could use someone to get over Rictor. I know I’m not cute and Mexican, and I can’t cook at all, but I was wondering if you’d be willing to give it a try.”

“Are you… asking me out?” Shatterstar had seen enough people do that both on television and in person, but he was not quite sure if that was what this was.

“I guess I am.” He looked down, fiddling with something in his lap.

“Sure. Why not?” Shatterstar sighed. He had no aversions to Xtreme, and the man _was _attractive. And he was nice. No, he was not Rictor, but he knew he was not going to get Rictor. Rictor had thrown him out and rejected him and his love. He had broken his heart. Yeah, Rictor had hinted at him being able to come back someday when Shatterstar had “grown”, but Shatterstar did not want that kind of uncertainty. Rictor had made his choice.

Xtreme nodded. “You mean it? You’ll give _us_ a try? That means the world to me ‘Star. It really does. I’ve had a decent number of hookups here on Earth -don’t look at me like that- but I never felt this way about anyone until I met you. You’re special, and old Rictor doesn’t know what he’s missing.” He sauntered over and rubbed a hand through Shatterstar’s mass of orange hair. “Do you mind when I do this?”

Shatterstar shook his head. “Not really. It feels nice.” And it did. Having someone run their hands through his mane of hair felt really soothing, as virtually nothing moved his thick locks.

He grinned and leaned down and pecked Shatterstar’s nose as the warrior finished off his meal. “You’re so cute. I think this will be fun.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Badda boom badda bing! 
> 
> Be warned. From 9/14-9/29 I am on holiday. I will either post a lot or not often depending on my schedule, but from the 16th to the 19th do not expect much if anything, as I will be in New Zealand.


	4. Nicknames and Chill

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shatterstar's first time, and he also gets a nickname.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter has some very sexual content. It is not necessary/essential for the story to progress, so feel free to skip it, although from here on out, the story gets a little bit sexual, so just be warned.

“You’re sure this is what is custom here?” Shatterstar sat down on the couch next to Adam. The other man slung an arm around him and pulled him close. Neramani had suggested a night of what he referred as ‘television with other entertainment on the side’. This, he had explained, was more or less them having sex to television.

“I’m not sure what other people do, but it’s something _I_ do. You like television, right?” He pulled him closer and kissed his cheek, his soul patch tickling Shatterstar’s soft skin of his face.

Shatterstar was suddenly anxious. This was all new territory for him. He had been sharing a bed with Xtreme for the past few nights, but it had been with clothing on. They had exchanged some casual kisses and some ass grabbing, something he was still getting used to from the more assertive man, but overall, it had been very tame. He had never had sex before. Just seen it in movies and heard people mention it in passing. It was moments like this that he thought of Rictor and what he would say.

No, he knew what Rictor would say. Rictor had never like Neramani for the brief time the Shi’ar had worked with X-Force, deeming him arrogant and over-the-top. Rictor would heavily disapprove of this union. He would probably say something like ‘you’re fucking _him?_ Why not go find some random frat boy from a local university! Likely will be just as obnoxious.’

Shatterstar shook his head. He had to quit thinking about Rictor. He had a new life now. And he was quite enjoying it, if not for the fact that he was extremely nervous right now as Adam was slowly kissing a line down his neck and suddenly tore his shirt to shreds.

“Hey!” He yelped as his shirt was torn down the middle, splitting the _Star Wars_ logo in half.

“Let me get some of that…” He murmured, leaning in, splaying his long fingers across Shatterstar’s warm chest. Shatterstar shivered as the air-conditioned air brushed over his bare chest. “There you go, baby. There you go, ‘Star…” He kissed his chest and gently licked his nipples.

The entire experience was rather rapturous. Shatterstar had never been played with like this before. The feeling of someone playing with his nipples was very pleasurable. It tingled slightly, but felt very good. He felt the heat rise to his cheeks as Neramani tweaked his nipples and played with his pectorals.

“Mind if I…” He gestured to the growing bulge in Shatterstar’s pants.

Shatterstar nodded nervously. He was already verging on the edge of overstimulated, but this was getting interested. He was not prepared for what came next when Adam pulled down his pants and boxers and applied his _very_ masterful tongue to the tip of his penis.

“Ah… ah!!!” He moaned lightly, gripping the couch as Adam avidly licked, sucked, and pulled on both his shaft and balls. The feeling was heavenly.

Adam came up from in between his legs, looking up at him, his blue eyes wide open. “You like that, do ya?”

“Mmhmm.” Shatterstar could only nodded as Adam dived back down and kept at it as the pressure built in his cock. It came to a peak relatively quickly, and he finally ejaculated, much to his surprise -this had never happened before- , all over Neramani’s face, splattering him with white goo. He gave a loud groan and lurched forward, waves of pleasure coursing through his body.

“Jeez, ‘Star. Warn a guy!” He groaned, rolling his eyes, wiping what had come out of Shatterstar off of his face and wiping his hands on his jeans.

“I-I didn’t know!” Shatterstar panicked. This had never happened before. His time as a slave on Mojo had never prepared him for this kind of thing. He had never before pleasured himself like this, much less had someone else pleasure him. He knew what masturbating was, but had never tried it himself.

Adam walked off to use the bathroom and clean himself off. He returned, rubbing his face with a towel. “Alright. Do you remember that slight feeling of differing pressure before you came? That pulsing you probably felt? That’s a sign you’re about to… you know.” He made an exploding gesture with his hands. “Next time I do that for you, tell me when you feel that way, and I’m going to get my face out of the way.”

Shatterstar nodded mutely. This had been an alien experience for him entirely. “Do you want me to, uh, do this to you? Return the favor?” He asked curiously. He was not sure how Neramani would respond to this query. He hoped he would not be insulted by the offer. This aspect of intimacy was foreign to him.

“I mean, if you’d like. I was thinking I show you what it’s like to be fucked in the ass.” Adam wiggled his eyebrows and shot a saucy wink at Shatterstar. “Let’s save your reciprocation for later on.”

“In the _ass?_” Shatterstar squeaked nervously. He had never had anything up there, not even an exploratory finger.

“You heard me right.” He grinned. “Come on, let’s get you into the bedroom.” He pulled Shatterstar off the couch, and he came willingly.

Within minutes, Shatterstar was laying on the used queen bed that Adam had cornered up against the wall. His ass was in the air, and Adam was spreading lube around the asshole part of his butt. It felt cool against the little puckered up orifice, and Shatterstar was clenching the bed with his fingers, nervous about this whole ordeal.

Adam, on the other hand, seemed totally relaxed. He was whistling to himself and everything. Apparently, this was not new territory for him, although Shatterstar already knew that. Adam had been very open about the fact that he had bedded and dated in general many people both male and female.

“You ready?” He asked Shatterstar. “Then relax.” He gave Shatterstar’s ass a gentle swat then thrust his own member into Shatterstar’s backside.

It felt like something was crawling up inside of his backside. It was like shitting, only the other way around. He instinctively clenched his ass cheeks around the large intruder, and that earned him a swat from Adam. “I said to _relax._”

Shatterstar nodded as Neramani kept fucking him in the ass, very slowly at first, then gradually more vigorously, moving him slowly across the bed in small increments as the two shifted positions occasionally. After about five minutes of this, Shatterstar was near the wall, braced against it, with Adam tugging excitedly on his orange ponytail while enthusiastically thrusting into him.

“Ah! Adam! Adam!” Shatterstar whimpered as he eased his way up the wall, now almost on his knees, his hands against the cool plaster.

“Yeah, ‘Star?” He kept on moving his hips. He gave Shatterstar’s backside another swat. He was really getting into this. It made Shatterstar sort of aroused, in a weird way, to know that he was able to incite such emotions out of the other man.

“This… This feels really good!” He gasped out between thrusts.

“Good!” He started going even faster. The man had seemingly endless stamina. He fisted Shatterstar’s cock and started to masturbate him. “Hey, Shatterstar!” He said, loudly. “Mind if I come on your back?”

“You what? I mean… I guess!” He was not sure why that mattered. It was not as if it would not come off in the shower. This was all so foreign and unique and- ah there it was, the warmth and liquid spreading on his lower back. Adam must have climaxed.

Shatterstar moaned as he withdrew his grasp and collapsed on the bed, careful not to get any of the ejaculate on the bed. His asshole was now a throbbing and gaping hole where Adam’s cock had been before. He had not realized this during his mini adrenaline rush that had ensued during the event, but now, he was in a little bit of pain.

“My asshole hurts, Adam.” He moaned from the bed. He was replied to with a towel to the face.

“Go take a hot shower and clean up.” Was the gruff response to his complaint. Adam was running his hands through his own hair. “Remember, we have work tomorrow, Shatterstar… God, that’s such a long name. Can I just call you ‘Star?”

“I’d rather you did not. I never really brought it up, but, uh, Rictor used to call me that. Call me anything else, literally.” He stood up, wincing as he stumbled to the bathroom, the air flowing around his still gaping asshole.

“Alright, Shatter. Or do you prefer Shatty? How about Star-Face?” Adam went through the list of nicknames that he seemed to have rehearsed.

He turned on the shower. “I have no preference. They all sound equally unlike my actual name, while still bearing a vague resemblance to it.” He turned on the hot water and stood under it while it heated up, enjoying the feeling of the streams of water on his hair and back.

“Got it, Shatty. What _is_ your actual name? There’s no way your actual name is ‘Shatterstar’. No one names their kids that, alien or not. Or at least in my experience.”

Shatterstar remained quiet. He did not know what he wanted to say to that. He had another name. His fellow X-Force members had known it, at least those close to him, or those important. Rictor had known. But it was an unpleasant memory. It had been his slave name on Mojo. But he trusted Adam. There was no reason not to tell him, right? He _was_ his boyfriend, in every sense of the word, now. Some cultures might even consider them married by now.

“Gaveedra. Gaveedra-Seven.”

“Interesting. I don’t quite like the sound of it. Doesn’t sound like you.” Shatterstar could see Adam sitting on the toilet, picking at his fingernails. “I think I’ll just call you Shatty. It’s cuter and shorter than Shatterstar. It’s like a pet name.”

Shatterstar turned off the shower. “Should I give you a nickname too?” He asked curiously. He was still unfamiliar to the give and take concept of this kind of relationship, having only learned about it from television.

“It’s not necessary. Adam is a short enough name.”

“Alright.”

There was silence for a few minutes, and then Adam broke the silence. “Shatty, I think I’m going to keep you around for a long, long time.”

“That’s fine with me, Adam.” Shatterstar was happy with this. He felt wanted in a way that Rictor had failed to make him feel in the past. All of his discomfort from the rough sex was gone and replaced by a feeling of security. This was a fine arrangement indeed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope this was good! I added a bunch of tags that I know sound very foreboding but they all tie in, but not for awhile.


	5. I Love... You?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shatterstar says some important things, and we see Rictor again!

Shatterstar woke up the next morning with a dull, throbbing pain around his asshole. He was still sore from the night before’s exertions. He looked across the bed at his boyfriend -it was weird to think that statement- and smiled a little bit. It had been worth it. He crawled out of bed and used the bathroom to clean up for the day, shivering in the early morning air. Xtreme kept the apartment air conditioned all the time, ignoring the fact that it was now early December.

During this time, Adam rolled over, eyes glazed over with sleepiness. “You up, Shatty?” He asked, wearily, yawning, brushing a hand over his face. “What time is it?”

“It’s almost noon. We slept in _late_.” Shatterstar replied, brushing his teeth in the small bathroom. He noticed, not for the first time, that the mirror was cracked, and he wondered if that was Adam’s handiwork.

“We have work in a few hours. I heard you want to start bartending? Have you ever even made a mixed drink before? I know I tried to teach you a couple of times, but I don’t know if you ever caught on.” He sat up and stretched like a cat.

“I mentioned it to the owner of the establishment, and he was amicable to the idea. He did not seem to care about my inexperience. He told me that someone could teach me tonight, as there is someone else working my job.” Shatterstar had watched people make drinks, and he had found it fascinating. Admittedly, he had not entirely caught on when Adam had tried to demonstrate, but in his defense, Adam was not the most skillful or patient teacher. Not that he would say it to the fiery tempered man’s face.

“Well, I wish you the best. I think I want to try to find a new job. Maybe I’ll come work at your place. They always are hiring bouncers and that sort of personnel. I am _so_ over working at Chili’s. If I have to say ‘welcome to Chili’s’ too many more times I am going to keel over and fucking _die_.”

Shatterstar snickered. “That’s sort of funny. How’d you even get started working at a restaurant chain? Wouldn’t someone of your skillset work somewhere at least a little bit more dignified?”

Adam shot him a nasty look. “X-Force disbanded at a nasty time for me. Just as I was finishing up some personal things, I was looking at accepting that offer to join, and then you all split! Contrary to popular belief, vigilantism is not a great business unless you have money. You’d be surprised how many mutants and other powered beings don’t actually work on X-Teams because they’ve disbanded and left them afloat.”

“Sorry…” Shatterstar pulled on the plain black shirt and jeans that were his work uniform and sat on the bed and waited patiently for his partner to actually leave the premise of the bed.

“It’s not your fault your team split. It’s like a band breaking up before the invited member gets to join. Sorta shitty for them, really shitty for the guy who was willing to make it happen.” He shrugged noncommittally. “I need to get over it, move on, and quit working in restaurants.”

The day went by quickly for Shatterstar once he got to work. He was a quick learner with an attentive young woman as a teacher and he soon got the hang of mixing drinks. As the early afternoon turned into night, however, things got considerably more complicated for him.

It started when Adam got off of his shift. It had been a short shift for Xtreme that day, and he was planning on just hanging out at the bar, buying himself dinner and some drinks, and waiting for his boyfriend, and then having Shatterstar drive them home. Shatterstar had gotten adept at driving Adam’s small car, much to both of their relief. Now, Adam did not always have to be the designated driver.

Adam walked into the bar and planted a kiss on Star over the counter, earning him a look from the other girl working the counter. “Look away, love. This is _my_ boy. Ain’t that right, Shatty?”

Shatterstar was in the middle of nodding and returning the gesture when he heard a familiar voice echo through the bar. “Shatterstar?”

He looked past his boyfriend to see Rictor standing there, wrapped in a scarf and jacket, looking confused and surprised and slightly hurt all at once. He looked good as ever, however. His dark brown hair had grown a little bit, his eyes were still soulful, and he still dressed like a punk rocker.

“Ric?” He gently shifted Adam, ignoring his indignant grunt. “Wh-what are you doing here?” He asked, nervously fidgeting with his hands behind the bar.

“I _was_ going to ask you the same thing, but you were eating face about a second ago with-“ he looked Adam up and down. Neither man seemed happy to see each other. Adam was a solid head taller, and he was all blond disdain. Rictor was shorter but looked just as annoyed. “Oh, it’s you. Our local X-Force wannabe. Remind me of your name again? Oh, right, Adam X, the Xtreme. That has _got_ to be the worst name I have ever heard.” He crossed his arms. “I know you’re mad I rejected you, ‘Star, but you can do so much better than this sonofa-“

“Watch it, short stuff, or I’ll put your head through the bar.” Adam snarled, his handsome face contorting into a sneer. It was then that Shatterstar recalled that the two of them had never liked each other the few times they _had_ met.

“Guys, come on!” Shatterstar gestured for the girl he was working with to take his place for a couple minutes. The bar was not busy. It was a Tuesday night in a small town. The busy nights were Wednesdays, for live music, and weekends. He walked out from behind the bar and positioned himself between the two of them.

“’Star, is this your way of saying you’re angry at me for turning you down? You go running to the first guy who’s willing to do things with you? What happened?” Rictor looked at him disparagingly.

“That’s not it at _all_ Julio. You rejected me, and I… I ran into Adam in his place of employment. He gave me his number and-“

“And it’s not your concern, _Julio_. Absolutely none. What my man does is not your business. You turned him down. He’s a free agent. And he chose to call me the night you left him, and that was that.” Adam interjected, putting a finger to Shatterstar’s lips. “I’d advise you to mind your own business.”

“Listen, you greasy-haired, cocky, asshole. I did _not_ come here in the snow to be bossed around by the likes of you, you second rate mutant!” Rictor’s voice was growing louder, and now they were attracting attention. “You’re manipulating Shatterstar, and we both know it. How about you drop the doting boyfriend act, which for the record, you’re awful at, and admit you’re a creep.”

“Ric…” Shatterstar murmured softly. “What’s gotten into you?”

Rictor ignored him and kept glaring up at Adam who seemed to be doing his best to glare a hole through Rictor’s forehead. Which, in Shatterstar’s opinion, was a better idea than decking him.

“Get out of here, already, Rictor. No one wants you here. You’re just a washed up member of X-Force. You look like a librarian and have the balls of a coward. You insult me in public because you think that being here will save you from a physical confrontation, but you’re wrong about that. Let’s take this outside, or do you not have the guts for it?” Adam leered down at him. He looked thoroughly pissed off, and Shatterstar could not blame him. But Shatterstar absolutely did not want a fight to break out between the two of them. Adam would destroy Rictor in hand to hand combat.

“Guys, please don’t fight. Ric, I think it’s best that you get out of here. Unlike either of you guys, I work here, and I’m saying that you need to leave; you’ve been a disruption, and you’ve insulted a man who was going to order food here.” Shatterstar kept his voice firm. He had loved Rictor once, but this was unacceptable. Rictor could not just walk in here and insult his boyfriend and act like it would be fine. It was not fine.

“Shatterstar… Fine. You’ve made your choice. Go on, do it! Stick around with Adam X, the _Extremely Annoying_.” He paused after the insult. “But when it blows up in your face? Don’t come crying to me.” He stormed out.

Adam went to go after him and Shatterstar tugged on his arm. “It’s not worth it.”

The other man sighed. “Can I order my dinner now? Or are other former housemates of yours going to come in and insult me?” He looked at Shatterstar accusingly. He then proceeded to order a fruity beverage with a _very_ high alcohol content and some cheese sticks and a burger.

“No, just him. And I didn’t plan this. He just… showed up. I don’t know why. He doesn’t even drink that often.” Shatterstar put the order into the computer, made Adam his favorite drink, handed it to him, and accepted the money. 

The rest of the night went smoothly. No more intruders came in and interrupted what became an impromptu dinner date with Shatterstar serving other customers but keeping coming back to Adam. Adam seemed pleased with this, although Shatterstar could tell his mood was still a bit sour.

When they got home, Adam walked over and got into bed and just screamed into his pillow for a straight few minutes before looking balefully up at Shatterstar. “You don’t really think I’m a second rate mutant, do you?”

“Nah, I think you’re just fine, Adam.” He paused. “Adam, I have something to tell you.”

“Fire away, Shatty, but I hope it’s good news, like ‘hey you don’t have to work at Chili’s anymore’.” Despite the fact that he had not showered or changed out of his Chili’s uniform, he was already burrowing into the blankets and starting to fall asleep, much to Shatterstar’s mild annoyance. The man could definitely stand to have more hygiene when it came to their bed. He had a bad habit of falling asleep there wearing dirty clothing and or having not showered after a long day.

Shatterstar hesitated. He did not know if he wanted to say this, not after tonight. Not after watching Adam fight with Rictor and almost come to blows over him. But he still wanted Adam to know how he felt. He had to know, and this time, he was certain, there would not be the risk of loss like with Rictor, right? They _were_ dating after all. Adam had made that clear.

“I love you, Adam Neramani.” He whispered in the dimness.

“I know, Shatty. Go to sleep.” Adam rolled over next to him and started snoring.

Shatterstar sighed. “Alright.” He laid down and was soon asleep as well.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Any input would be nice! I love hearing from my readers! I know this is different from how I normally write, but I'm really enjoying this.
> 
> Credit for help with plot to my amazing boyfriend, and credit for the 'adam x the extremely annoying' line to my amazing friend Meggy!


	6. Sex, Bondage, and Mangos

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shatterstar and Adam do some experimenting.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a /very/ sexual chapter. Be forewarned. Bondage elements are present, and it gets mildly violent.

The next morning, it was as if though nothing had happened. Adam was in a decent enough mood, and it was a further improved one, augmented by the fact that this was one of the two days of the week he had off. The two of them had managed to coordinate their days off to spend with each other, and it had so far been a very pleasant arrangement.

This morning, Adam had woken up first and had greeted Shatterstar with a perfunctory kiss to the forehead, then proceeded to have sex with him in the shower, something that Shatterstar was nervous initially about until Neramani reassured him that he would be more gentle. And he was, but only minimally. After that, they had breakfast, and Shatterstar inquired about something that had been bugging him for awhile.

“Do you know how to cook, Adam?” He asked. “All you seem to eat is food from the freezer and soup?”

Adam snorted. “I’m an _awful_ cook. Why do you ask? Was _Rictor_ a good cook?” He glared pointedly at Shatterstar who realized he might have hit a sore point for him.

“Ah, well, I mean, he was? But that’s not why I’m asking. I was asking because there is no way in this world that eating like the way you do is at all good for you.” He shook his head. So Adam _was_ still mad about Rictor.

“No, I don’t cook. I can try though? I just never bought cooking utensils really. I know how to make exactly two recipes: potato and cheese casserole, which I learned online, and I can make tacos. But neither of them taste great when I make them.” He shrugged and went to get his toast out of the toaster.

The matter of Rictor remained an unspoken awkwardness between them until finally, after a lazy lunch of microwaved burritos, of which Xtreme ate six, it was brought up. “So how did you even end up living with that asshole? Did you just go to him after X-Force broke up and ask to move in?” Adam was laying on the couch, hair in his face, lazily flipping through channels on the television.

“More or less. X-Force disbanded, and I had nowhere to go. Rictor said he would help me find my feet, so to speak, and I ended up staying with him longer than intended…” Shatterstar trailed off. He was not about to tell his volatile boyfriend that he still dreamt of Rictor sometimes and sometimes still felt sad about the other man.

“Interesting. Well, I have something that I think will get your mind off of all of that stuff. Rictor was a piece of shit friend to you. You do not need negativity like that in your life. We’re going to try something new, sexually, today.” He winked at him, a twinkle in his eyes.

“Uh, Adam? I don’t know if this is comprehensible to you, but I am very, _very_ new to this. Aren’t we moving a little bit quickly?” Shatterstar did not say much more because Adam pulled him down onto the couch and started kissing him passionately.

“Just, just don’t worry, Shatty. I’ve got this covered.” He whispered in his ear between kisses, running his long fingers through Shatterstar’s orange hair.

“You promise it’ll be okay?” Shatterstar murmured. He had his doubts, but he trusted the other man without any reservation. If he was going to betray him, he would have done it by now.

“Promise.” Adam’s higher pitched voice echoed through his ears, consoling him and reassuring him that he had nothing to fear from whatever Adam wanted to do to him.

A half hour saw him lying down on Adam’s bed completely naked. He felt the cold air wash over him, causing his nipples to perk up into hard little beads on his chest. He looked up at his boyfriend who was methodically strapping his wrists with leather cuffs to the top of the bedframe.

“Adam… what’s going on?”

“This, Shatty, is what the locals call BDSM. I don’t remember what that stands for, but it means that I get to tie you up and fuck you silly. Among other things.

“Ah-ach!” He yelped as Adam gently but firmly knelt over his chest and strapped something resembling a large, metal ring on straps around his head and placed the ring in his mouth, jacking it wide open.

Shatterstar shook his head helplessly, desiring nothing more than to dislodge this unpleasant apparatus, but Adam ignored his struggles.

“You’re doing fine, Shatty. Just relax.” He kissed his forehead. “I got you something special when I bought this shit.” He held up a collar that resembled the ring gag a little bit, two strips of leather with a ring of metal in the middle. He fastened it around Shatterstar’s neck and clipped on a leash. “You’re adorable.” He kissed him again and then disappeared for a few minutes, presumably getting ready.

Shatterstar just laid there, fiddling with his hands. He could break free, that much was clear. He was inhumanly strong, after all. But he got the distinct feeling that if he did, Adam would be rather put off. He cleared his throat a couple times with the gag in his mouth, trying again to dislodge the cold metal, but to no avail.

Finally, Adam came back, and he was naked. He looked Shatterstar over, then seemed to decide he did not like how the other man was placed. He picked Shatterstar up and propped him into a sitting position, while moving his cuffs so they were behind his back and attached to the leash around his neck. He then clipped a long bar in-between Shatterstar’s legs so he couldn’t close them. This entire treatment made Shatterstar feel very, _very_ exposed.

“You ready for this?” He wiggled his hips, letting his dick sway in-between his legs. For all of Shatterstar’s nervousness, he could not help but to admire his lover’s well endowed state.

Shatterstar nodded nervously. He was then greeted by a violent shove from behind his head into Adam’s crotch. His mouth was suddenly full of penis, much to his shock, and he could not deny access due to the damned ring in his mouth, forcing him to accept whatever was placed into his wide-open mouth.

Adam’s hand wrapped around his long ponytail and pushed his head down. Back and forth, back and forth, on his cock. It was an interesting and stressful experience for Shatterstar who had never done it before, much less involuntarily and lacking control of his hands. He had no sense of balance in this state either.

“Oh… yeah…!” Adam groaned pleasurably, masturbating himself with Shatterstar’s mouth. Shatterstar was held firmly within his grasp and could not pull back or away without exerting a great deal of effort that he reserved for combat.

Shatterstar was doing his best not to choke at this point. He was just a hole to put things into for Xtreme, at this point. Finally, without much warning, a warm, viscous, salty liquid poured down his throat, nearly choking him again. _I guess we’re even now, _he thought as he struggled to swallow as his partner withdrew.

“That… that was good. You’re great at this, Shatty! I’ll have you deepthroating me in no time!” He scooted behind him and swatted his butt. “Bend over.”

“Eh?” He grunted from behind the gag.

“You heard me.” His voice was much firmer, and Shatterstar realized he was in for the real fight of the night.

He was correct to assume that. What followed was a very long, very fast paced and violent fuck that resulted in both of them coming to explosive orgasm. Adam was a very physical man. He left marks on Shatterstar’s hips from where he grabbed him so hard it left bruises. There were strands of orange hair on the black bedsheets from where Adam had tugged so hard on Shatterstar’s ponytail that strands had fallen out.

By the end of it, Shatterstar was sore and weary and ready to curl up in a ball and sleep for a few days, despite it being the middle of the day. However, Adam seemed to have different ideas for him. He unclipped the bar from in between Shatterstar’s legs, giving him the much desired ability to close his legs, but replaced it with cuffs around his ankles. Before Shatterstar could question it, he found himself bound lying down, ankles tethered to his wrists behind his back, on his stomach, gag still in his mouth.

He looked pleadingly up at Adam, hoping that this ordeal would end soon and that Adam’s sexual drive would be sated. Adam ignored the look and started to circle him on the bed. He gave him a vicious swat on the ass, causing Shatterstar’s entire bound body to tremble. “You’re perfect, Shatty. Absolutely marvelous.”

He left the room soon thereafter and did not come back for an agonizing twenty minutes or so, during which Shatterstar’s arms and legs fell asleep. Shatterstar himself was on the verge of falling asleep when he felt the restraints being removed and saw a glass of water being placed in front of his face. “Drink up, Shatty…”

Shatterstar stretched awkwardly, happy to finally be loosed and gratefully accepted the water. It was relief all throughout his body to sit up straight. “Thanks.” He took a sip. His throat was parched from having the continuous air flow with the inability to shut his mouth. He worked his jaw. That was sore as hell. He had no idea how much time had passed since it had started. He put his hand to his sore ass and found, much to his disturbance, he was bleeding. He pointed it out to Adam.

“Huh?” Adam looked rather pleased with himself as he put the restraints and such back in a drawer in his dresser. “I haven’t gone that hard with someone in a very long time. But I knew you could handle it, right Shatty?” He looked down at Shatterstar’s hand, covered in a thin sheen of pale green blood. “That’s what your blood looks like? Gross. Maybe I went too far.” 

Shatterstar nodded mutely. He did not know _what_ to think of what had just transpired. He was a little bit shell shocked. A little bit traumatized. A little bit confused. But mostly, he was sore and tired. But he did not express any of that. He did not want to ruin Adam’s fun. After all, he had said it would be fine, and it had been, overall.

“Yeah. It was alright. I wouldn’t do it every day though.” At least that much was true. He laid down on the bed, exhausted. He let out a low moan. His asshole hurt, his wrists ached from being in the same position too long, and he had a splitting headache.

“I’m gonna go get some groceries. You… you just stay there and groan, I guess.” Adam patted his head gently. “I’ll be back for you, though.”

“Wha- wait, Adam…” Shatterstar sat up slowly. He had had a bunch of groceries he wanted, but one thing in particular.

“_Yes_?” Adam seemed a little bit annoyed, but maybe that was Shatterstar being paranoid.

“I… can you… can you get some mangos?” He looked up at his boyfriend pleadingly. _It’s the least you can do after fucking me bloody_.

“Sure. Mangos and anything else?” He raised his eyebrows. Shatterstar shook his head, despite wanting more. He was too tired to care at this point. He just wanted sleep. “Alright. I’ll see you.” He left the apartment and Shatterstar listened to his footsteps go down the stairs. When he was sure he was gone, Shatterstar fell into a fitful sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I promise there's an endgame to this...


	7. Holidays

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shatterstar and Adam spend the holidays together

The next couple weeks leading up to the holiday of Christmas went quickly. Shatterstar became an accomplished bartender, and Adam quit his job at Chili’s to become a bouncer at the bar Shatterstar worked at. This was a good operation, one that Shatterstar greatly enjoyed. For all of Adam’s flaws, he greatly loved the guy. Adam was fun to be around, when in a good mood, and he was great in every physical aspect that Shatterstar valued.

The only thing Shatterstar could really complain about was intimacy. He did not feel, sometimes, as if Adam valued him the way he valued Adam. This, he chalked down to the fact that they were both new to this kind of thing. Adam probably knew even less about this kind of romantic culture than he did, as the man had lived primarily alone and did not interact with others the way Shatterstar had when he had come to Earth.

On Christmas Eve, he was ecstatic. He had managed to find Adam a new hat to replace the one he wore everywhere, and he planned on presenting it, and a home cooked dinner to Adam when he came home from work. Shatterstar had taken the day off to surprise his boyfriend. He knew he would not be home until late, but he was willing to wait, laboring over his favorite food type, Italian, to make the best homemade noodles and sauce.

It was three in the morning when Shatterstar got the phone call. “Hey…” Adam sounded sheepish, a peculiar tone for his normally confident voice.

“Hey. Where the hell are you? Don’t you know it’s the holidays?! I waited up for you!” Shatterstar was thoroughly nervous and worried. This set of emotions was overlapped by feelings of anger and frustration. Xtreme had not called him or anything to warn of his delay, and now dinner was cold, and Shatterstar was exhausted.

“Listen, something came up at work, and then I ran into an old friend. We ended up hanging out at another bar, and I went home with them… I didn’t know you would be waiting up for me…” He sighed over the phone, a loud huff that sent staticky crackling through Shatterstar’s cellphone.

“That- that’s fine… I don’t care what you do with your time, babe. Just… I would like to be in the know. I don’t like waiting up all night for you to come home only to find you’re on the other side of town! I know you’re a capable man, but I was still worried for you. It’s the holidays; there’s all sorts of crazy people out there.” He did not know what to make of Adam going home for the night with someone else. It made him feel a little bit hurt, but he trusted the man with his life, however, and knew he would never cheat on him.

“I’ll be home in the morning, and we can celebrate the holidays with a nice breakfast out, alright? I promise.” Adam’s voice took on a soft tone over the phone. “I’ll see you around, Shatty.”

“Hey! Uh… I love you. Remember that. I love you more than anyone. Merry Christmas.” Shatterstar was desperate to get the last words in this exchange, to let him know he still loved him.

“Happy holidays, Shatty. Now, quit worrying about me and go to bed.” Adam hung up. He had gotten the last word in, as always.

Shatterstar sighed, then he trudged to bed, feeling rather discouraged about life overall. He loved Adam, but sometimes nights like these, when Adam forgot about him, or would stay out without him, and the like, he wondered if he even liked his company. _Quit thinking like that! _He scolded himself. _He asked _you _out! Obviously he cares! He’s just bad at showing it._

He laid down in the bed. He sunk deeply into it, noting that the old mattress probably should get replaced sometime in the near future, a recommendation that Adam would most likely groan about then ignore. Eventually, if Shatterstar bugged him enough, they would get a new mattress.

The next morning, he was woken up by Xtreme shaking him awake with the energy to start an earthquake. He groaned and rolled over, covering his face with his hands in the chilly morning light. “Gah! What time is it?!” He groaned.

“It’s ten AM. And it’s Merry Fucking Christmas!” Shatterstar looked up at Adam and stifled a laugh. Somewhere, his boyfriend had managed to snag a ridiculous looking Santa hat and had nestled it on top of his pointed ears, looking like a quintessential Christmas elf. Only ripped, and with a soul patch.

“Oh jeez. It’s good to have you back, babe…” He sat up and stretched. Adam had his backpack with him and was opening it on the bed.

“I… brought you some gifts. Things I know you love and can’t _live_ without.” He winked at him rogueishly. “I brought you some of those mangos you like from that whole foods store that imports all their fruit… a knife sharpening set that you can use for your swords, wherever you keep them… and last but not least, this!” He whipped out a small pin. It looked like something you would put on the lapel of your suit jacket. Shatterstar took it and gave it a cursory look. It was two crossed swords that were replicas of the ones he kept in the case under the bed. “I love it. I’ll put it on my leather jacket.”

“I love it, Adam. I got you something too.” He pulled out the hat from behind the bed. “It’s another hat for your collection! I also want to take you out for dinner. You know, because you weren’t able to be home for Christmas Eve dinner…” He handed it to his boyfriend who grinned at him.

“Beautiful, just beautiful, Shatty. I knew picking you out was a good choice. You really are an ideal boyfriend.” He pecked his cheek. “Let me clean up the kitchen for you, and then we can go out and do whatever you want to do.” He walked away and started to wash the dishes and throw out the remains of last night’s failed dinner.

Shatterstar sighed after him. How come he was so enamored with him after such a short amount of time? It had taken years of working with Rictor to feel that way, and now, after just a month or so, he felt so strongly about Adam that he would do anything for him. These feelings made him a little bit nervous sometimes, but he generally brushed them off. Maybe this was what love at first sight was like.

That night, they went out to one of Adam’s favorite restaurants, a little hole in the wall Italian joint, and they drank overpriced wine and ate pasta. Adam talked about stories from his time before Earth that Shatterstar had never heard before, and Shatterstar confided in his love about his time on Mojo, stories he had never told other people, not even Rictor.

As they concluded the meal, Adam reached a hand across the table and clasped onto Shatterstar’s. “I will never let you go, my darling, sweet. I hope you know that you are mine, Shatty, eh?” He smiled, his grin never wavering as his other hand came and ruffled Shatterstar’s hair.

“That… That’s right. I am yours.” Shatterstar acknowledged his boyfriend’s claim. He knew it was a little odd, but he needed it. He needed this security, craved it with all of his being, that feeling that everything was going to be alright in the end and that he would not be alone.

There had been a time where he had wanted to be alone. When he had first come to Earth, he had been a solitary man, a fighter by nature, and not one to be amicable to others. Rictor had shown him that companionship was not all that bad, and now Adam was showing him that companionship could be even better with the advent of love. And he loved Adam very much. Now, after knowing what it was like not being alone, he could not imagine being lonesome again.

They drove home in silence, enjoying each other’s company. When they got back to the apartment, both men crawled into bed, Shatterstar spooning Adam comfortably. There was no time for sex that night. Just soft, tender embraces from the two warriors. Shatterstar nuzzled his face into the back of Xtreme’s neck, enjoying the soft warmth and the comforting, familiar smell of his lover.

“I love you. I love you so much, Adam.” He murmured the words of love against his neck, running his hands through his hair.

“I know, Shatty.” Adam’s voice was muffled against his pillow. His voice was heavy with tiredness.

“Can you say it back?”

Silence. Then snoring. Maybe next time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, after this chapter, things get really stressful for all characters involved, just a warning, because a lot of the tags are about to become really relevant.


	8. The End of All Things

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Crisis in the Adam and Shatterstar relationship! Can they come back from this?

It was a couple minutes before ten in the evening on New Year’s Eve when he got the phone call. Shatterstar had been expecting Adam home from work soon, and Adam called him.

“Hey, where are you? Is everything okay?” He answered the phone, twisting a lock of his hair around his fingers. “You’ll be home in a few minutes, couldn’t this wait?”

“No, it can’t. I need you to come here, right now. I’m at the hospital, and I think I’m about to be arrested. Just get here if you can…” Adam’s voice was faint and scared over the phone, and Shatterstar was immediately terrified for his boyfriend. He threw on a pair of jeans and a winter jacket and ran out the door and called an Uber to take him to the hospital that was a few miles from the apartment.

When he arrived, he saw Adam sitting in the waiting area, talking to a couple of police officers, looking agitated and red-faced. When he saw Shatterstar, his face lit up. “Shatty! There you are! Thank fuck…” He trailed off as one of the officers glared at him. “This is my boyfriend. He can take my car home.”

“Adam, what the _hell_ is going on?!” Shatterstar was starting to be a little bit angry in addition to being scared. Adam looked extremely guilty, and why was he sitting in a hospital waiting room surrounded by police.

“Is this your boyfriend, young man?” One of the officers asked Shatterstar, and he nodded his affirmation. “Alright. He hit someone with his car, and it turns out he was drunk as hell when he did it. He’s going to be facing some serious charges for this, given that the damage is pretty severe to the other guy.” The officer’s voice was stern, not allowing any room for compromise.

Shatterstar gaped at Adam. “How could you?!” He glared at him. “If you wanted to get wasted, you could have done that in the _privacy of our apartment_. Instead, you went out and got drunk and hit someone with your car!”

“It gets better.” The officer nearest to Adam gave Adam a disdainful look. “Drunk guy here managed to hit one of the real life X-Men with his car.”

“_YOU DID WHAT?!”_

“I did _not_ hit one of the X-Men! Quit acting like I hit Wolverine with my car! It was just one of Shatty’s coworkers from X-Force. Hardly one of the X-Men.” Adam looked up at Shatterstar defiantly. “So I might have accidentally hit Rictor with my car.”

Shatterstar felt the floor drop out from under him. Rictor, the man he had once loved more than anything, was in this hospital, injured, because his boyfriend had hit him with his car. It was too much to handle. He felt himself grow faint. “I… I… I need to sit down.” He went to find a chair. Upon finding one, he plopped himself down. “Adam… how could you?”

“It’s not like I hit the asshole on purpose! I didn’t see him and I drove forwards and I hit him on his motorcycle thing.” He gesticulated with his hands. “I was trying to merge and I guess I misjudged my ability to merge without hitting him.”

“You’re not even mentioning the fact that you were driving well over the speed limit and that you totaled the motorbike and badly injured Mr. Richter.” The officer glared down at Adam who looked at him back defiantly. “The court will have a lot to say to you.”

“I’m leaving. I can’t do this.” Shatterstar stood up. “May I have the keys to the car?”

The officer obliged him. “Please don’t drink and drive. We will notify you when the court date is, alright, Mister…”

“Shatterstar.” He took the keys and walked out of the hospital, ignoring Adam entirely.

“Shatty, wait- babe!” He could hear the echo of his boyfriend’s voice behind him as he stormed out. He did not pay it any mind. He was too stressed and angry.

He drove home in what was promising to be a nasty snowstorm. It was now about a half an hour until eleven. It seemed like time was going so slowly. Just a few minutes ago he had been sitting at home waiting for his boyfriend, and now it seemed that Adam was going to be facing serious charges for hitting Julio, of all people, with his car.

What was worse than all of this were the thoughts racing through Shatterstar’s head faster than light itself. _What if it wasn’t an accident? What if he actually tried to kill Rictor when he was drunk? Is he capable of that kind of violence?_ He did not want to think about the answers to those questions. He parked Neramani’s car in the apartment parking lot and trudged upstairs into the little apartment and opened the door and let himself fall onto the couch.

_I should call Rictor._ He really should. He owed it to him to see how he was doing. But Rictor had also said he did not want to hear from Shatterstar. He was not sure what to do, and was deliberating on it when he got a call from Adam again. He picked up. “What the hell do you want?!” He snapped, then felt a little bit remorseful for his tone. But only a little bit.

“Clothing. They’re keeping me in police custody until my court date, and I don’t want to show up to court wearing my work clothing. They said if you brought me my clothes I could wear what I wanted.” He sounded quiet and sad. “Please don’t hate me, Shatty. I fucked up, but it’s nothing against you, or _us_.”

“What clothing do you want? You don’t exactly own nice things, Adam.” Shatterstar walked over to their shared dresser and closet and started to rummage around. The two of them were roughly the same size, with Adam being a little bit shorter and lankier. This meant that in a pinch, he could borrow Shatterstar’s clothing, although Shatterstar was feeling less than charitable at the moment.

“Hey! Well, I mean, you have a point. How about that black button up shirt with the blue dragons on the sleeves and those faux leather pants. That’s the closest I have to dress attire.” He sounded a little bit more perky when he described his clothing. Shatterstar was not sure why. Right now was the worst time to be sounding perky.

“How about no on the leather pants. I have a pair of dress pants you can borrow, and it’ll look good with the dragon shirt.” Shatterstar bagged up the clothing. “I’ll bring you some deodorant and that as well. You could probably use it.”

“Hey… thanks. I really mean it, babe. I don’t deserve you at times like these. You know that? You’re the best, Shatty. I’ll see you in a few?”

“Yep.” Shatterstar hung up and walked back downstairs with the bag and got into the car. He started to drive off when he felt his phone buzz in his pants. It was Rictor. He felt himself start to tremble involuntarily. He put the phone on speaker and answered, setting it on the seat as he drove.

“Yo, Shatterstar?” Rictor’s voice sounded muffled and quiet, like there was something pressed against his face.

“Hey, Ric. Whataya want? I thought you didn’t want to hear from me again?” Shatterstar was not quite sure why he said that. Maybe his resentment was overriding his worry. But he regretted it instantly. “Sorry. What’s up?”

“What’s up? You have the absolute _gall_ to ask me ‘what’s up?’. Your fucking _asswipe of a boyfriend_ hit me with his Honda Civic! He doesn’t seem to care that he hit me with his car, and frankly, if I didn’t know any better, I’d say he’s rather pleased about it! When he hit me and my bike, I went flying off my bike, across the road! When he saw that he had hit me, and who he had hit? You know what he said? ‘Oh, it’s just you’. I can’t believe you’re dating him, ‘Star. You’re dating a literal sadist. Get your head out of your ass and quit helping him. I’m just calling to tell you that, for your sake, I’m not suing or making you guys pay my bills. It would ruin you two’s lives. I’m not doing it for Adam. I’m doing it because you… you were my best friend. And- and I don’t know what happened that was so bad that you felt the need to date this wild man. I’m sorry I kicked you out, though. Maybe we could’ve worked things out.” He finally paused. “Have a good life, ‘Star. Don’t be a stranger. Maybe… maybe when things clear up, you can visit me at home. See you around.”

“Bye…” Shatterstar let Rictor hang up, as he was driving. There did not need to be two accidents tonight in this car. He was surprised at the lack of damage to the car. There were only a few large dents on the side that Adam presumably had crashed into Rictor on. One of the windows was cracked, and so was the side mirror on that side, but it was all fixable. What Shatterstar needed to figure out though was how he was going to take care of rent and everything else if Adam ended up in jail for a long time or something like that. Money had never been something he had been good at managing, and this was looking to be a terrifying ordeal. He wanted to just stop the car and have a cry. He needed one after all this. Hearing Rictor’s voice had been the breaking point for him.

When he got to the hospital, he turned the clothing over to the officers then asked if he could have some words with Adam. They acquiesced to his wishes, reluctantly, warning him that if he said anything out of line, he would be in trouble. Shatterstar did not care.

“Adam, I talked to Rictor. He’s not going to press charges against you for hitting him with your car. He’s not going to sue you or make you pay for hospital costs…” He paused. “I think that’s very nice of him to do, given that you not only hit him with your car, you totaled his bike. That thing is his pride and joy.” He took Adam’s hands in his own. “What happened? What possessed you to act like this?”

“I… I was just having a garbage night, Shatty. I needed everything to stop for awhile, so I started drinking, and do you ever start and feel like you can’t stop? Because that was me. I just could not stop for the life of me. When I left the bar, I felt more alive than I ever had, and when I hit Rictor… It was like I was dragged back into this world, and I felt miserable again. I hate this so much. I want to do something that makes me fulfilled again. But it looks like what’s going to happen is that I’m either going to prison for a few years, or I’m going to be fined a great sum of money, or possibly both.” He sighed, shoulders slumping down. “I’m sorry I inconvenienced you.”

“This isn’t about that! This is about the fact that you aren’t taking care of yourself! You think I don’t notice you drinking yourself to sleep at night? The fact that you don’t bother to wash half the time and brush your hair and you just look dead? You look like death warmed over, Adam! I don’t know what happened to the man I fell in love with, but this isn’t him.” Shatterstar was distraught, letting all of his emotions from the past few weeks spill out and over.

“And maybe that’s your problem, _Shatterstar_. You fell in love with an idealization of me. Someone who doesn’t _have_ problems. Maybe you caught me on a good day, or on a moment where I felt the actual motivation to feel good about myself and care about myself. I’ve done my best for you. God knows it hasn’t been easy.” He sneered at Shatterstar who raised his eyebrows at not being called by the semi-endearing nickname for once.

“What’s _that_ supposed to mean, ‘it hasn’t been easy’? I’ve done everything I could for you! I have loved you more than anything in this life! I put you over the only other person I have loved. I made you my lover and my best friend! I _prioritized your happiness. _“ Shatterstar felt himself getting angry, his heart pounding and the blood racing in his body.

“You’re like a small child, Shatty! You’re like a little kid in a candy store when it comes to love! You’ve never had it before, so once you _think_ you have it? You’re obsessed with it! You’re so clingy and desperate for approval you don’t take time to actually care about yourself! Why are you even here, huh? To take care of me? Because I asked? You could have said no. That’s what I deserve, isn’t it? But you just _have_ to be there. You can’t be without me! You can’t live with the idea of leaving me to fend for myself and being without you, and frankly, it’s driven me up the goddamned wall!” His voice was hitting almost a shrieking pitch that was hurting Shatterstar’s ears and the words he was saying were hurting his heart. “I… I think…” He hesitated, his voice de-escalating a bit. “I think we should end it here. There’s no way we can have a long distance with how _you_ are. I think things will be better off if at least while I’m in prison we take a break, eh? You need to get better as a person. Learn a thing or two. I offered you a place in my heart and my home because, like you, I was lonely. I needed a friend. But I’m realizing? It’s gonna be okay, being alone. You need to figure that out for yourself.” He kissed Shatterstar’s forehead. There was an air of finality to his voice.

“Adam… don’t do this, please, I can be better, I promise! I’m sorry I was clingy! I’m sorry I was so desperate for… GOD I DON’T KNOW WHAT, I JUST WANTED TO PLEASE YOU!” He knelt down on the floor so he was at eye level with his boyfriend. Adam would not meet his gaze.

“Get out of here. Thank you for the clothing, but you need to leave now.” His voice was firm. He removed his hands from Shatterstar’s grasp. “And for the record? I never needed anyone to _please_ me. I just wanted a friend I could fuck. You weren’t bad for that, for all it’s worth.”

“Did you ever love me?!” Shatterstar demanded, standing up, devastated, feeling the affections of the past two months wither away in front of him. “Because, you know, we all know how I felt for you…”

“No. I can’t say I did. And I think, I think deep down inside you knew that too. Good bye, Shatterstar.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ahhhhh.... This is my longest chapter for this saga yet, and I am really proud of it, and I hope you guys have been enjoying this story. I know it's been sort of wild and a little fucked up, but I hope you see where it was leading.


	9. Bitter Goodbyes and New Hellos

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shatterstar has a bonding moment

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: mention of abuse.

His words rung in Shatterstar’s ears. He could not believe what he was hearing. The man he had loved more than himself had just admitted he had never really loved him. He had essentially just said that he had used him for sex.

He looked at Adam helplessly. “I’m so sorry.” He ran away from him, down the hallway, ignoring the stares of the nurses and doctors, who probably thought he had just heard bad news or the like.

He finally ducked into what he assumed was an unoccupied room. He paused in there, finally letting the tears flow. He leaned heavily against the wall and started to cry. How could this be happening? What had he done to deserve this? He went silent as he heard someone approach the room. It sounded like there was someone wheeling something into the room? He froze as the lights of the room were turned on and a nurse rolled no one other than Rictor into the room on a wheelchair.

“Ric?” Shatterstar murmured through tears. Rictor looked like garbage. One of his arms was in a splint, his left eye was bandaged over, and he was in a hospital gown. There were visible bruises on his face. And that was just what was visible.

“’Star? What’re you doing in here? You’re…” he paused to cough, “not supposed to be in here.”

“I… I needed a break. I… I can go.” He straightened and went to leave as the nurse glared at him. “Will… will you be in this room later? Can I come and visit you?”

“I’ll be here for a couple days, but not in this room. I’ll call you, okay? This is just where they’re putting me to do tests. You okay, ‘Star? You look like you were crying-“

“I’m… stressed.” He finished lamely. It was not a lie. “Adam and I are… going through it right now.”

“Well, if you need something, call. Or text. Preferably call. I have a whole arm out of commission right now thanks to that asshole.” Rictor flopped his splinted arm uselessly in his lap.

Shatterstar nodded. “Will do.” He turned away. “Rictor. I’ve missed you.”

“I’ve missed you too, buddy.” Rictor’s voice was quiet. “But we made our choices. At least I did.” There was a hint of regret in his voice.

Shatterstar walked out of the hospital that night feeling torn in two. He wanted nothing more than to just crawl back to Adam and beg him to come back. He needed that security. He craved the reassurance that this hellhole would be okay. That this insane scenario would work itself out. But he knew he could not do that. Adam’s mind was made up. And that made Shatterstar the saddest of all. He had given everything in that relationship, and looking back on it, he had gotten very little out of it. He knew that that was not what love was about, realistically. He had learned, mainly from reading and watching romances, that love was all about the other person, ideally. Adam, in hindsight, had not been good for that. But that did not make this any less painful for Shatterstar.

He drove the car back to their little apartment and let himself in. He did not even know if he was welcome there anymore. Adam had not mentioned it when he had told Shatterstar off. He assumed he was not. He packed up his clothing, his swords, his books, and most importantly, the small photo album he had. He wanted to keep a memento of this relationship, for all that it was a failed one.

He left a scrawled note on the table, apologizing for leaving. He made a quick call to the landlady, much to her annoyance on New Year’s Eve at eleven forty-five at night. He explained what had happened and told her that he would pay whatever fine he had to, but that the apartment would not be lived in for a little while. He explained that there was a slim chance Adam would get off with a mere fine, and thus, the apartment should be evicted. She was relatively understanding for a woman who had never gotten along with Adam, a notoriously loud tenant.

He walked to the nearest small motel and bought himself a room for a week. That would give him time to apartment search for himself, and maybe get back on his feet. He still had his job, and he was working in two days. That gave him a little bit of time to search around town, as well as hopefully check up on Rictor.

He did not sleep well that night. He had not slept alone in months. He laid in the otherwise empty bed and thrashed around fitfully until he finally fell into a restless sleep. It was full of unsettling dreams, most focusing on death, Adam, and Rictor.

The next day, around noon, he got a text from Rictor saying he was in the tenth floor of the hospital and that he had put Shatterstar on the visiting list. That cheered Shatterstar up a little bit, and he freshened up to see his estranged friend.

When he walked into the hospital, he was directed where to go. He had brought Rictor his favorite flowers, some lovely sunflowers he had procured from a florist who somehow was still operating in the middle of the winter.

Rictor looked a bit roughed up in bed, with his arm, now in a cast, and his black eye and bruised face. His left leg, poking out from under the covers was in a brace. That aside, he looked not as bad as a man who was in a motorcycle accident might be expected to look. He smiled at Shatterstar when he walked into the room. Shatterstar looked almost as bad as Rictor probably felt. With his dark circles under his eyes, ratty t-shirt that may or may not have been one of Adam’s, and a pair of sweatpants, he looked like he had crawled out of a dark, dark hole.

“You look like shit, ‘Star. What happened?” Rictor was instant concern, something that made Shatterstar feel instantly guilty. He did not deserve Rictor’s concern. Rictor deserved all of his. It was the other way around.

“It’s nothing. How are you? How bad was it?” He sat down next to Rictor’s bed and handed him the flowers which Rictor regarded with a radiant smile that warmed Shatterstar’s sad heart.

“I love the flowers. Put them on the table, will ya? I’ll see if one of my nurses will put them in a vase. And health wise? I broke an arm, sprained an ankle, got a black eye, bruised half of my face, broke three ribs, and possibly got a concussion. Good thing I was wearing a helmet when I got hit.”

“I’m so sorry about that. I wish I could have done something-“ Shatterstar started. He felt so guilty this had happened. He wanted to go back and tell Adam not to go out drinking or to work that night. He should not have ignored his boyfriend’s downward spiral the way he had. He just had not realized the signs. And this was his punishment.

“Don’t. You can’t do this to yourself. Yes, dating Xtreme was a stupid life choice. No one will tell you otherwise or sugar coat it for you. But you need to recognize that this accident had nothing to do with you. It was him being the arrogant, reckless, asshole that he is. And now, he is going to get what’s coming to him, and you have a chance to start over again, ‘Star.” Rictor took his hand with his good one. “You can be your own person again without anyone horning in on it. I saw how he was in the bar. He just came off as possessive and a little unhinged. The way you’re looking at me? It just confirms it. You dodged a bullet when he got arrested. I don’t know if you’ll stay together after he comes back, but I wouldn’t.”

“He left me. I don’t know why, yet. He says I was too clingy and too attached. So he left me. Last night. That’s why I was hiding in your hospital room and crying. He told me that he had just wanted someone who was good at sex. He _used_ me!” Shatterstar wanted to cry again. The pain was still raw in his chest. But he did not cry. He had already made an idiot of himself by crying. That was not something a man like him did.

“’Star… I’m so sorry. That must be terrible. I didn’t know, I swear. If there’s anything I can do for you once I’m well…” He trailed off, looking awkward. “I just want to help. I feel like this whole thing with Adam is my fault, in its own, special way. If I had never thrown you out, you never would have met the asshole.”

“Well, we already knew him. But I would _not_ have fucked him. God, that was…” he trailed off. “He was intense. He had no regard for safety in that area, _that’s_ for sure.” Shatterstar chuckled bitterly, recalling the many times they had had sex. None of the times had gone particularly smoothly for himself, due to Neramani’s overly vigorous attitude towards the ritual.

“Shatterstar, I’m going to ask you to level with me. Did he ever abuse you?” Rictor asked, his handsome face growing serious and sad. “Because from the sounds of it, he was not far from becoming that type of person. He already lacked a regard for your safety, and he only saw you as a conduit for sex.”

Shatterstar shook his head honestly. The only thing he could have accused Neramani of was his emotional neglect and lack of care for him. And that was not illegal. It just hurt. “He just never said he loved me, and had a general lack of care for what I wanted. I’m looking back, as I talk t you, and I _know_ I should be happy to be rid of him, but I’m not! I miss him! I loved him, Ric! The way I loved _you_ once.” He cupped a hand over his mouth in horror. He should _not_ have said that.

Rictor got a sad look on his face. Well, sadder. “Yeah. You’ve not been successful in the romance world, have you? It’s a pity. You’re not bad looking, and you’re, trust me, one of the nicest guys I know. You deserve the world, ‘Star. Someday, I promise, you’ll find someone.” He yawned then winced. “God, yawning hurts.” He sulked briefly. “I think I’m gonna sleep. You’re welcome to come by again whenever until I get out sometime this week.”

“I’ll do my best. I’m a bit busy though. I have to worry about finding a new place. I can’t stay in Adam’s place anymore, and I have a job.” Shatterstar stood up and stretched.

“You know, once I get out… Maybe. Maybe you could stay with me. Help me get back on my feet, no pun intended. I’d pay you to be like, I don’t know, a live-in assistant.” Rictor raised an eyebrow. “Does that sound at all appealing?” 

Shatterstar perked up a little bit. Living with Rictor would be amazing. He had missed him so much. And this time, he would not make the same mistake of expressing his emotions regarding his, still present, romantic feelings for Rictor. Yes, he still felt like he wanted to be with Rictor. Rictor was kind, loving, and much more sweet than Adam could ever be. This conversation highlighted everything he had ever missed about Rictor.

“You don’t need to pay me. I’ll just ask my job if I can go on leave for a little bit to take care of an injured friend from way back. No matter what, I’ll take care of you. I owe you that much for being the friend you have been. I never forgot about you, Rictor. You know that?”

“And I regretted throwing you out almost as soon as I did it. Maybe this is the universe giving us a second chance.” Rictor’s eyes lit up a little bit. He laid back in the bed. “I’ll see you tomorrow maybe?”

“Sure.” He smiled at his friend. “Are we friends again?”

“We never weren’t. We were just… stressed out.” Rictor chuckled a little bit. “See you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay in updates! I was in New Zealand, as warned ^^ I got engaged while I was down there so that's cool xD  
I love writing Star and his angsty li


	10. Move Along, Move Along, Like I Know You Do

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shatterstar moves on with his life

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the lack of updates! Writer's block sucks ^^'

Shatterstar sat in Rictor’s spare bedroom, unpacking his things. He had moved in the day after Rictor got home from the hospital, on strict orders to keep Rictor from moving around too much. He watched from his room as Rictor laid on the couch, aimlessly flicking through the television. He seemed to be fine. He checked his phone. No word from any of the people that had given him their numbers on the night of Adam’s arrest. His thoughts wandered to his former lover. He wondered how he was doing. _Why should you care?_ He thought miserably. _It’s not like he cared about you._

He sighed. He needed to get up and walk around the apartment. Maybe make Rictor something to eat that would not take too much effort to eat. Soup. Soup sounded good. Adam had loved Shatterstar’s chili. Shatterstar had never told him that Rictor had been the one to teach him how to make it.

“You in the mood for food, Ric?” He asked, standing up and stretching.

“I guess so. What do you have in mind?” Rictor turned his head ever so slightly to regard Shatterstar. “I was thinking something nice and hot. Something like chili.” He winked at his friend, and that warmed Shatterstar’s heart a little bit.

He made him chili that winter night. And for the next three months he lived with Rictor, watching him recover slowly. He drove him to physical therapy and his other subsequent doctor’s appointments. He also ended up attending Adam’s court appearance in which his ex was sentenced to a year and a half in prison, lost his license to drive, and was given a five thousand dollar fine that Shatterstar privately knew that he could not pay. His former lover had been rotten at money management, barely keeping the apartment. It was a light sentence, given that he had hit someone with his car while speeding and drunk.

Shatterstar was not one to drag out the suffering of another. He had a few awkward and terse conversations with an irritable and embittered Adam, in which the other man agreed to let Shatterstar sell his things to pay the fine. “You always did care too much, Shatty…” he had said, ruefully, before he had been taken away the one last time.

Shatterstar did not have to be told this. He already knew. He managed to raise enough money to pay his ex’s fine in his name, after selling almost everything he owned to a very over excited fan of X-Force who did not seem to be concerned that the man had worked with the team once. He was fairly certain part of the novelty was in that he was a mutant.

Springtime came, and with it, Rictor grew restless, having almost fully recovered. He had been in physical therapy for a while, his arm had been out of the cast for a few weeks, and his spirits were heightened. It was good to see. Shatterstar smiled at his friend as he watched him be able to put on his favorite shirts on his own finally.

They had grown close that winter. Shatterstar had refused to take money for the services he provided, instead opting to live off of the money Rictor had saved for emergencies, with Shatterstar chipping in as well. They spent a lot of time watching television and playing board games, and occasionally, Rictor would fall asleep on the couch watching television, and Shatterstar would just watch him contentedly.

He was dreading Rictor’s recovery in a rather perverse way. It was not that he did not want his long-time friend to recover, but it was more of a matter that he did not want to be out of a home again. He was not ready for him to have outlived his use. He loved being around Rictor. Every minute he could be with him was one that he did not have to think about the cruel reality of being utterly unloved by someone he had once trusted with everything.

One day, on the way home from physical therapy, Rictor turned to Shatterstar, a serious look on his face. “Have you thought about what you’re going to do once I recover?” He asked.

“Not really. I know I have a standing arrangement at the bar that I can come back as a bartender whenever I please. But as for living? I have no idea. I guess I’ll move back into the old apartment where I used to live with Adam if I can get it back.” He sighed as he pulled the car into the parking lot of the apartment complex Rictor lived in. He helped his friend out of the car. It was still a chilly day, despite it being March. Rictor was still in an ankle brace, because as he had been recovering, he had slipped on some black ice and re-sprained the ankle.

“I was wondering, now you don’t have to answer me now, and I know it’s a big question, if you would want to move into my spare bedroom. We could split the rent, you have your own car, and we could be housemates. I’ve grown rather accustomed to having you around, and I have no idea where Adam had you holed up, and I don’t know if I’d want a friend of mine going back.” Rictor leaned on him as they walked inside.

“Can I think on that?” Shatterstar replied. He was over the moon. This was an amazing opportunity. He could stay with Rictor. He would not be thrown out and have to leave. He would not have to go back to that apartment full of the ghosts of the past. He would not have to be lonely. He did not want to seem overeager or clingy, however.

“Of course. I just threw something _huge_ at you. Think on it all you want. I, for one, am going to take a little nap. Do what you want. I was thinking about Chinese for dinner, ‘Star; how does that sound?”

“Sounds great, Ric.” Shatterstar helped Rictor into his room and tucked him into bed, knowing his friend was not that helpless, but still liking the feeling of being a caretaker. Rictor did not seem to mind this arrangement at all.

“Good. You like the chicken, right?” Rictor yawned, then rolled over. He was soon asleep. Shatterstar watched him until he was snoring, then left the room.

He vacuumed the floor. He washed the sink and bathtub out. He wanted the apartment to look nice. It normally did. It was a clean place, much nicer than the studio that Shatterstar had called home with Adam. He was finishing up the bathtub when he got a phone call from an unknown number. He frowned. He was normally pretty good about not giving out his number, after Adam had lectured him about the annoyance that was telemarketers and scammers, and Rictor had scared him about multi-level marketing.

“Hello?”

“Hey… Shatty.”

“Adam?” Shatterstar nearly dropped the phone into the tub. He did not. “What are you doing? How are you calling me?”

“You really don’t know how things work… You can call people while you’re in prison, you know… I just can’t receive calls from you. If that makes any sense whatsoever. It probably does. I was just… ah… wondering how you were doing. I feel bad that I left you to deal with everything. Thank you for selling my shit.” He sounded a lot less cocky and obnoxious, his normally loud and boisterous voice a much more toned down rendition. He sounded like a man who had been taken down a few notches.

“I don’t really need anything. I’m doing pretty well. I’m living with a friend. Not working currently. Just trying to figure out my next course of action after everything.” He took a deep breath. “I’m gonna level with you, Adam. What you said hurt me deeply. But it made me realize that I can do better than you. You never cared about me the way I cared about you, and while it hurt to realize that, I know now that I am better off without you.” He had had this little speech ready for a little while, preparing for the inevitable return of Adam. He had not expected it to happen so soon.

“Oh _come on!_” Adam’s voice was suddenly irritable and angry. “You’re still mad I left you? And you think I didn’t care? I did care. I just did not care the way _you_ wanted me to. There’s a difference, Shatty. And let me tell you, you’re in for a disappointment if you think that everyone is going to love you back in your weird little obsessive way.” He sighed over the phone. “I just wanted to make sure you were okay and settled somewhere. You won’t hear from me again while I’m in here.”

“Good. I’m done, Xtreme. Good-bye, Adam.” Shatterstar hung up the phone, and leaned against the wall of the bathroom sitting down. He pulled his legs up to his chest and laid his head down on his knees and sighed deeply. Why was there still some twisted part of him that still missed him? All this had done was hurt. He was still lonely. He still wanted love. He needed to feel like someone else out there valued his presence in that intimate special way that he had only felt once, and even then, it had been a farce.

He stood up after sitting there for a few minutes. It did him no good to dwell on these things and fall into self-pity, as Rictor would have said to him. He needed to finish getting the apartment cleaned up. He chanced another glance down at his cellphone and with an air of resignation, blocked the number that Adam had called from. It was time to move on.


	11. Give Me a Chance

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rictor makes a proposition to Shatterstar.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Read at the end of the chapter for an important author's note.   
Note some new tags that aren't relevant now, but were relevant for other chapters that it has been brought to my attention I should have tagged.

Rictor was finally done with physical therapy. It had been a rough several months. From the time of the accident to full recovery from all involved injuries had been about four and a half months. Rictor had taken it like a champ. To celebrate, Shatterstar took him out to eat at what had become their favorite Chinese restaurant, a little mom and pop shop near the apartment complex.

He watched Rictor devour his beef dish in front of him and smiled. It had been a good several months living with Rictor, and he was looking forward to living with him for the foreseeable future. Shatterstar had gone back to work, and he was doing well as a bartender. He had gone on a couple of half-assed dates that had not gone well for one reason for another, but had always been good stories for Rictor.

Nonetheless, he still sometimes felt lonely. He missed the feeling of sleeping next to someone at night. Sometimes he would sit and just watch romantic movies and fantasize about being with someone who loved him unconditionally. Unconditional love was something Shatterstar thought about as very important. He still held out hope for it. No matter what Adam had said.

As they finished their meal, Shatterstar got up to pay the bill, and Rictor gestured for him to sit down. “Hey, I think I need to talk to you…”

Shatterstar looked at him quizzically. “Is this about me clogging the toilet in the apartment? Because I apologized for that.”

“No, ‘Star. This is not about that.” He chuckled, smiling a little bit. “It’s about something a little more serious than that. It’s about us. As people. As friends.” He looked down. “Living with you these past few months has been amazing. I really appreciate the fact that you were willing to move in and help me after my accident. I appreciate even more that you were willing to move in permanently, after how I treated you all those months ago. Not a day goes by that I don’t feel bad for throwing you out of my apartment. Especially now that I’ve realized something really important.” Rictor looked up at Shatterstar and inhaled deeply and then spat words out in a rapid-fire manner. “I love you, ‘Star. I didn’t realize it then, but I know now. I want you as much as you wanted me. When you left, I missed you sharing my bed. I missed seeing you in the morning. I missed every moment of you. At first I thought it was just a best friends thing, but then I saw you kiss Xtreme, and I realized that I wanted to be that man. Well not literally _be_ Adam. That’s gross. But I wanted to be the one embracing you and kissing you. I was scared of my own feelings for you, and I treated you badly because of it.”

Shatterstar blinked. This was not something he had expected at all. Rictor’s confession had blown him off his feet, and he was on the verge of screaming in a mix of ecstasy and shock. But he did not do that. He just looked blankly at his best friend, not sure how to react.

Rictor must have seen his thousand-yard stare and looked downcast. “I deserve that look. That’s exactly what I did to you. But I mean this when I say that if you still have any feelings whatsoever for me, that I would be happy to take you as… I don’t know. Someone special to me? My lover? Boyfriend sounds so, I don’t know, juvenile.”

Shatterstar chuckled at the statement. “Ric… I don’t even know where to start.” Rictor looked like he was about to say something, but Shatterstar held up a finger to interrupt him. “Let me finish. I don’t know where to start because I’m _so overwhelmed with joy_. You don’t understand how much I have wanted a moment like this. I have had feelings for you for so long. I even had feelings for you a little bit while I was with Adam, although I would have never admitted it to him. The fact that you feel the same way? Nothing could make me happier. Well, maybe more chicken. I’m kidding.” He said to Rictor’s faked indignance.

“So is that a yes?” Rictor hesitated, looking unsure. “Please, give me a chance. I know you’ve been hurt. I’m sorry about that. I know that what happened to you was terrible and should never have happened. But I am better than that. I’m different. I will treat you right, I promise that. I will love you the _right way_.” He took Shatterstar’s hands across the table. “Please, ‘Star?”

Shatterstar gulped down his nervousness. Rictor was such a great guy. He was the most beautiful man that Shatterstar had ever seen, and he was the best friend he had ever had, and now that man wanted to be his lover, the person who would love him the way he wanted to be loved.

“Yes. I’ll give you a chance. I would love to give you a chance. You’re the man of my dreams, Ric. I will give you anything you ask for.” Shatterstar smiled across the table, beaming.

“No.” Rictor shook his head. “It can’t be like that. You can’t just be an open book, willing to give everything away. I need to earn it. Not your love, persay, but you can’t just be willing to sacrifice the world for me right off the bat. You were willing to do that for Xtreme, and it was a disaster. I need to be worthy of your love, you know?”

“Isn’t love supposed to be unconditional though?” Shatterstar ran a hand through his hair, confused. Rictor was taking this as a matter of almost business. The idea he needed to earn Shatterstar’s affections and care.

“It is. Ideally. But you can’t always love the people you always want to love. Hopefully, it will never come to that. Not with me. I want to love you so much that you will never question my affections on whether or not I really feel the same way. You should never have to feel alone again, ‘Star.”

“I won’t. Not with you. I’ll be right back, I need to pay our bill…” Shatterstar pushed back from the table and walked up to pay the bill, a spring in his step. He could not believe it. Rictor had developed feelings for him. How had this happened? How could he have gotten so lucky!

He absentmindedly paid and almost tipped his whole life’s savings to the restaurant in his air of bliss. When he got back to his seat, Rictor was standing and ready to go. “Shall we get going, _lover_?” He raised his eyebrows. Shatterstar laughed.

“Of course, _lover_.” Lover. The word rolled off the tongue. Rictor loved him, and he loved Rictor. It was a love built off of nights spent sitting together watching television, evenings spent cooking, days at physical therapy, afternoons of board games. It was something precious. Something Shatterstar would not trade for the world now that he had it. And he could not be happier.

When they got back to the apartment, Rictor and Shatterstar settled down onto the couch together, bodies entwined. Shatterstar wrapped his arms around Rictor’s smaller body, and they watched television, squished together, lying down on the sofa. Rictor fell asleep like this, and Shatterstar gently kissed his forehead and carried him to bed and tucked him in. He crawled onto Rictor’s other side, like he used to what seemed like years ago, but was only about seven or eight months ago, and fell asleep spooning him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, all. I'm writing this as a disclaimer that tbh I maybe should have written, but I did not because I did not want to spoil the story.   
Adam is supposed to be the antagonist. He is not a good guy. He is purposefully terrible to Star. I did this on purpose to build onto another part of the story.   
IRL I actually really love him as a character, but awhile ago, I got a bit drunk and decided to write a story where he was a villain in a relationship. I'm sorry if that makes anyone upset, but I'm not going to apologize for writing a story about abuse, especially as I am an abuse victim. What I am sorry for is the fact that I admittedly did not do a good job of tagging, but this is only my second AO3 fic, and tagging is something I suck at. Moving on...


	12. What Things Should Be

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shatterstar and Rictor try to heal some old wounds.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is another sexual chapter, so... just a psa

“I’m not doing it again. Sex is… terrible.” Shatterstar shook his head vehemently. The idea of that kind of discomfort and pain again was rather abhorrent to him.

Rictor smiled consolingly at him. “I won’t force you to do anything, ‘Star. I was just offering. Most people enjoy sex, you know. Although, I understand your reluctance, given your prior experiences with that asshole.” He patted his boyfriend on the shoulder.

It had been about a month since Rictor had made his confession of feelings to Shatterstar and they had become more intimate. During that month, Rictor had decided to move into a one bedroom apartment, as there was no need for a two bedroom anymore, but they remained in the same building, so moving was not much of a hassle. Nights were spent cuddling and kissing on the couch, and days were spent with both men at work.

Shatterstar had taken on day shifts so he could spend his nights with Rictor. He enjoyed working with a calmer crowd in the bar, and he did not miss the long nights. He still liked making drinks, and he sometimes played bartender for Rictor, even though the other man did not drink often.

Shatterstar peered at his boyfriend across the couch from him. Rictor had meant no harm when he had offered sex as a diversion that night while their cable was down. But nonetheless, it had brought back the unpleasant memories of rough sex with Xtreme, the lack of aftercare, and the general lack of attention to Shatterstar’s comfort. He felt bad though. What if Rictor was a better lover, well that was not hard to achieve, and Shatterstar was denying him a chance to prove himself?

Rictor had reassured him, when Shatterstar had brought up his fears to him, comforting and consoling him. He had told Shatterstar that he had nothing to worry about, and that he would not judge him, no matter the outcome of what was happening between the two of them sexually. But nonetheless, Shatterstar was afraid that his aversion would drive away his lover.

That night, as they laid in bed after watching some television, Shatterstar gazed at Rictor’s half naked form in bed. Tan skin stretched over muscle, not gone from misuse, but less toned than he had been when they had been in X-Force. His dark, wavy hair fell over his shoulders like a waterfall. Rictor was breathtaking. In that moment, Shatterstar decided that he was going to give it a try. If anyone could fix what had been so brutally broken within him, it was Rictor,

“Ric?” He whispered softly in the dark. “I think I want to try it with you.”

Rictor rolled over. “Try what? Sex? Don’t feel pressured because I brought it up. That was _never_ my intent, ‘Star.”

Shatterstar shook his head. “I know. I know. But… I just… I want to try to love you. I want to try to give the physical part of this whole thing a chance again. I keep on reading that sex can be fun, and maybe it can be, _with the right person_.” He had done reading online about relationships and sex after Adam had left him, blaming himself, and wondering where he had gone wrong. What he had found out amounted to Adam being an asshole, and him having done nothing but be an attentive, if mildly attention starved, boyfriend.

“You’ve been researching sex?” Shatterstar could tell that Rictor was amused, even in the dark of their shared room. “Of course you’ve been.” Shatterstar received an affectionate peck on the nose. “You’re adorable, ‘Star. If you want to give it a chance, we can. We’ll go nice and easy and slow. None of that crazy shit that Neramani was forcing onto you. Alright?” He rubbed Shatterstar’s back reassuringly.

Shatterstar nodded in the dark. “Yeah.”

The next night was nerve-wracking for Shatterstar as he stripped naked and laid down on the bed. Rictor came over, pulling his brown hair back behind him. Shatterstar mimicked the action and whipped his orangey hair into a ponytail to keep it out of the way. He laid down a towel in front of him and gestured for Shatterstar to get on top of it.

“Alright. Are you ready for this, ‘Star?” Rictor’s voice was low and reassuring.

Shatterstar nodded, stiff and nervous. Rictor’s voice was calming, however, and he was much less threatening than Xtreme. He watched apprehensively as Rictor tugged a condom on over his erect penis and lubed it up. “You want me to go fingers first then dick? Or would you rather me just go straight in.”

Shatterstar looked at him skeptically. He had heard of the idea of stretching someone out, but Adam had never done it, preferring just to fuck Shatterstar’s ofttimes tight ass until the alien was sore and sometimes bloody. “You want to stick your fingers _up my ass_?”

“Well, yeah. Stretch you out. So I don’t kill your poor anus. Wouldn’t want to just shove something up there without prepping you.” Rictor smiled another kind smile. He seemed to have this all under control, and Shatterstar was desperate to please him.

“Alright. If you say so, Ric.” He knelt down and exposed his backside to Rictor while on hands and knees. He spread his cheeks apprehensively.

He felt something press against his asshole. It was Rictor’s finger. It was slick with lube and went in with little difficulty. Rictor worked Shatterstar’s asshole as Shatterstar wiggled anxiously, breathing deeply as Rictor added a second finger to the mix.

“You okay, pal?” Rictor asked, pausing for a second.

Shatterstar nodded. “Thanks for asking.”

That made Rictor stop. “You mean no one’s ever asked?” He sounded indignant and sad all in turns. “That… I’m sorry. That’s not fair to you.”

Shatterstar shrugged. “Well, at least you’re nice.” He smiled to himself. Rictor was the nicest person he knew, in his own opinion.

Rictor resumed his fingering of Shatterstar’s ass, and finally seemed to be satisfied and withdrew with a soft, moist noise. “I’m about to go in. Are you ready, ‘Star?”

“Yeah.” Shatterstar nodded. The fingering had felt very good, despite his nerves.

There was a noise of Rictor shifting around behind him, then a much larger presence at Shatterstar’s backside. Rictor gently eased his shaft into Shatterstar’s asshole, rubbing his back with one hand and guiding his cock with the other. “Here we go…” he murmured.

Shatterstar let out a long, low moan as it slipped in. Rictor filled him up in a way that Adam had never achieved. It was like Rictor was _made_ for him. It felt so damn good. Rictor put his hands on Shatterstar’s hips and gently started thrusting, going deeper each time, getting Shatterstar more and more aroused.

“You like that, hun?” Rictor leaned and reached over with one hand to stroke Shatterstar’s hair. Shatterstar preened. He loved when Rictor did that.

“Y-yeah… feels amazing. You’re _so_ much better at this than _he_ was.” He panted in between strokes. He felt himself becoming more turned on as this went. His desire to orgasm was growing.

“Well, I do put an emphasis on your comfort and happiness. That probably helps!” Rictor thrust slightly more vigorously that time, eliciting a soft groan of ecstasy from Shatterstar. “Want to go any faster? Are you into hair pulling or anything?”

“Either is fine, to be honest. Just don’t tie me up, please. I did not like that when it happened.” Shatterstar said, pleadingly.

“Never. I would never do anything that would upset you. I will _always_ ask permission of you, ‘Star. I value you as a person, and I love you dearly. I want you to enjoy yourself.” He sped up a little bit and gave Shatterstar’s ponytail a tug, jerking Shatterstar’s head back to look at him slightly.

Shatterstar briefly met his lover’s gaze, grinned, then turned back around as Rictor let go. It felt so good to be treated like this. For so long, he had only known war, and then he had met Rictor, and he had shown him what it was to be human. After they had split, Shatterstar had never forgotten him or quit longing for him, even as he had loved Adam. Now, they were back together, and Rictor was being the salve to the wounds inflicted by someone who could never understand the bond between the two of them.

Suddenly, Rictor hit a very sweet spot in his, now enthusiastic, but not rough, thrusting. Shatterstar let out with another loud groan and came all over Rictor’s bath towel. It happened so fast. He felt so good, like a jolt of pleasure throughout his whole body. It felt blissful.

“You good there, ‘Star? I see that you seem to be enjoying this, I hope at least.” Rictor patted Shatterstar’s butt gently. He withdrew and sat straight on his knees.

Shatterstar rolled over on his side, in rapturous joy. “That was… amazing. You. You are amazing, Rictor.” He gestured for Rictor to lean in and kiss him, longing for some lip contact, which Rictor obliged. “Thank you.”

Rictor smiled down at him. “You’ve never been loved the way that you should be. This, this is how it should be. Happy, straightforward, open, and kind. We love each other, and we communicate. I will _never_ hurt you, Shatterstar.” He ran a hand across Shatterstar’s temple and kissed him sweetly before taking the blanket and throwing it in the hamper by the door. “You ever wanna do this again, just say so. If you want to, I’ll even bottom for you.” He winked.

Shatterstar smirked. “I’d like that. But how about for now, we just sleep. Sleep and dream of many more good nights.” He kissed him as he came back around and laid down. He was safe now. He would not be hurt again like Neramani had hurt his heart. Rictor would mess up someday; he knew that. But he knew that Rictor loved him, and he was secure in that affection. And that made him the happiest person in the world.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for sticking with me and my sporadic posting and hiatuses et al. This was very fun to write, and I hope you enjoyed. I love all three of my main characters, and I hope that it is known to all that tbh I am a massive Adam X enthusiast. Personally, I don't think he'd actually be a shit boyfriend to Star, if they dated. I just wanted a character to start out our story as an abuser that would be believable, so I picked him. 
> 
> I am planning, sometime soon, to start writing an actual, positive, pleasant, Adam X, Shatterstar, and possibly even Rictor fanfiction, so just stay tuned. But for now, I bid you all adieu.


End file.
